allergies bijou i'm allergic to avacados, strawberries, and lake / river water. 020609 ... peyton so bad I want to jam dynamite in my nostrils and blow my head off 030926 ... peyton again 040401 ... girl_jane It started just before spring break. I was fine in Iowa. I came back to school in Missouri and BAM! I can't breathe... Tomorrow-I get paid. Then I can buy allergy medicine. 040401 ... nemo where do you go to school in missouri? im from st louis, anywhere close 040402 ... girl_jane I'm at Stephens in Columbia. So-about two hours close... 040402 ... nemo hmm hour and a half really, not far at all... isnt that college all girl? 040402 ... jinx Indeed it is. It also has one of the better theatre programs in the nation (it's repeatedly been in the top ten of the Princeton Review), and the best in the midwest. 040403 ... flux i've discovered my body's secret purpose. it is a mucus factory. 061214 ... kerry i want to apologize to your cat, though i also feel he should apologize to me. i like you, actually, i'd like to say. i like you a lot. it's nothing personal. doom, the cat, sits on top of the bookshelf and stares at me. he doesn't get it. i really think you're quite cute, i'd like to say, feeling the hives rise on my neck and travel down to my collarbones. in the bathroom i use bar soap to clean my neck and chest, discover more red bumps on my forearms, making my tattoos blotchy and blurry. i think of a time i went to athens with jack and his friend ben. i was 22 and they were 23. ben was doing his master's at university of georgia, where i was once incredibly unhappy and where i wrote what would be my last blathe for several years. he was housesitting for an english professor that summer. the professor had two cats but the house had been cleaned since their departure. after an afternoon and night tripping on lsd in an airplane hangar and watching "riki-oh: the story of riki," jack and i went to bed in one of the many bedrooms in this enormous house. there was wallpaper, i remember, and fringe on the curtains. i woke up at dawn choking and wheezing. it was the cats, who hadn't been there for months. jack and i got up, still kind of tripping, and went outside so i could breathe. we wandered off into the backyard where we saw two young deer. we followed the deer to some railroad tracks. the grass was yellow and dry. my chest began to relax, the wheezing stopped. but i couldn't go back into that bedroom--he had to gather my things and bring them to the kitchen so we could leave. jack holding my hand as i wheeze and cough. you washing your sheets before i come over. the allergies are a pain in the ass. 230304 ... tender_square brandon's parents owned five russian blues of various ages. then, they bought a sixth kitten that terrorized the elder felines for a time. i wish i could recall their names now. whenever i came around, they mostly scattered and stuck to his parents bedroom, creating lumps under the comforter. unless they needed to shit. imagine six cats in a single litter box kept in a small bathroom four adults used. every room in the bungalow had carpeting and years of dander in its tufts. it didn't matter how much they all vacuumed or how much allergy medication i took, after several hours my chest constricted and i took hits from my emergency inhaler. brandon and i spent a lot of afternoons at the local mall so i could breathe, browsing for dvd's at best buy and cheap books at borders, and i'd yell whenever we passed bath and body works that they tested on animals. we went to movies at mjr and breakfasts at dunkin' donuts. anything to get me in the fresh air again, to knock the cobwebs out. i'd sleep beside brandon on his knobby futon and wheeze the night away, paranoid that the twenty minutes it took to get back to the border on i-75 and back to socialized medicine would be enough to undo me. 230306 what's it to you? who go blather from