all_i_wanted birdmad was a pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me 010411 ... j_blue was to wait patiently until the end i lost that, now i dont know what to do i didnt want anything bad to happen 010411 ... unhinged was you the truth scares us the past tense is all that is left of you 010411 ... silentbob was to be your everything because you are my everything 010411 ... dB A small transistor radio cries far away in the darkness: Who you wanna be In a world of sad and lonliness Who you wanna be When you're full of all the emptiness Said, who wanna be When the moon is on the way You ordinary man And... we're clear 010411 ... chanaka was for it to WORK OUT but it never does ever. just repeat after me--"oh well" 010411 ... unhinged oh well 010411 ... black&blue for my friend to actually act like my friend...[oh well] 010411 ... j_blue was someone to notice without me having to draw attention to it 010412 ... soia was a simple kind of life 010529 ... silentbob "NO! You're on DRUGS!" 010529 ... inferiority_complex was to love you for a little while longer why did you choose the loosing battle? 010530 ... Aimee was to hear your voice.... to be happy for just a moment longer... but it's too much to ask anymore 010530 ... birdmad was to be hers 010530 ... anonymouse was to be loved 010531 ... inferiority_complex was to see you again i'm glad you came by, and in a strange way, gladder that i wasnt there try again next time, maybe the fates will make us ready... 010625 ... blamethesky was to have a nice birthday 010626 ... Dafremen There's always next year.(Unless you off yerself...and then it's yer own damned fault.) 010626 ... chanaka was to be fucked properly 010626 ... kendera exactly... 010626 ... fallen was something i will never have 010627 ... kendera was a grilled_cheese_sandwich..... 010707 ... scarlett was to have it all fade away. was to know that it was over. was to feel again. ended up a nightmare. 020102 ... Toxic_Kisses was to hear your voice tonight 020102 ... only_tuesday was to wrap my arms around you 020103 ... guitar_freak was understanding 020104 ... continuous light was one/tenth of the emotion i had given you returned. too bad, oh well. 020104 ... pralines&cream ... was what I have right now, with you, and the beauty of your face, and with your unfailing love for my spirit, lust for my body, and appreciation of my being. Please don't let it go away. 020110 ... psychobabe all i wanted from you was understandment all i wanted ever was at least that. I feel things with such emotions such extremeties but you never seem to care...crying within screaming of a worn out soul, i'm lost in this place. As much as i like to say i'm happy i am, but theres always alittle part killing me each time i say it. *Sigh* i just want something to help, something to numb. anything.. I wanted a hug from you i wanted an embrace i wanted something to know you cared but..nothing happened... Lost within this body of mine tracking thoughts deep inside carrying my mind away slowly driveing me crazy wont you let me show you how it feels to love? You can stop the world but you cant change me...as much as i want to scream out i cant. Oh well, thats life i guess.. 020110 ... 0of46 was for it not to be done i failed everyone i loved and myself i am forgiven now, but does it matter if i still hate myself i find reminders of my misteake where they dont think i go it hurts so much, i want to die but the razor wont cut straight, because all i can do is cry 020313 ... little wonder was what i had without all of the bullshit 020313 ... misstree a few more stories to tell 020314 ... blue star I don't know what it is that I wanted.... but for some reason it never happens. 020314 ... blown cherry was passion. Maybe some Connoisseur cookies n cream ice cream too. Now I've had both. 020315 ... blown cherry left wanting Was Saturday night and Sunday all over again, and again, and again. We meet up late, after everyone thinks we have left separately We talk for a bit, you play some songs You come and sit on the bed near me, brush the hair away from my face Place your fingers on my lips I barely sleep, paranoid that someone will come home I barely sleep, not wanting to miss a moment of seeing you When you wake we're together again It's almost better to watch you sleep, because I know I'm probably being an inconvenience to you now Silly conversations around the breakfast table The daylight scares me, because it always means I'll have to go I drop you somehwere you need to be "look out for drop bears" and we live separate lives until we meet in the darkness once more. That's all I wanted. And surprisingly it's what I've had now, on and off for months. So what is wrong with me then? You keep asking me, but I don't know either. 020416 ... Tildan you wanted to know it'd come back. I knew that. So I didn't understand the 'saying goodbye' thing. Thats what I had being doing every time, through silly conversations around the breakfast table. 020514 ... blown cherry Silly conversations around the breakfast table were no guarantee it would never happen again. I had too much fun having silly conversations around the breakfast table to find that in any way a promise that I wouldn't be able to come back for another silly conversation around the breakfast table. Even now there is a lingering hope, but it's small, and the voice of reason, and the memory of the finale are over bearing. Now all I want is to be out of this feeling by the time you have someone else, because the way that might make me feel absolutely terrifies me. 020514 ... little wonder was obviously too much to ask for. 020514 ... Sonya was to leave a print of raspberry lipgloss on your cheek. Now I may get to leave several everywhere instead. Yay! 020514 ... pralines&cream All I wanted before has changed. I still have all that I had before ... but now, I want more. And not necessarily from you. 020621 ... chaotic.simplicity was everything. 020622 ... kitty was to realize my dreams. 020623 ... Sonya was another chance and a little faith on your part. 020624 ... distorted tendencies "I just want to have fun." "Me too.." "I just don't want anything serious you know. I just want an FTF type of relationship, you know, an open relationship." "Does that mean other people?" Pause... "If you want and I want to sure.." "Well if you are going to then I don't want to hear about it, know about it, smell it, or meet the person." Pause... "Same goes for you.." "Yeah, well I'm not into fucking other people while I am fucking someone else." [This is killing me.. all I wanted was to be with you, and all I got was this, FTF. I don't want it anymore. It's killing me.] 020930 ... megan was to be happy. lord, just to smile again. i remember dancing with you at homecoming, we danced after the song went off, after they turned the lights on, after my date came and tapped me on the shoulder awkwardly. but all i could see, feel, touch, smell was you. we were alone in a sort of way, i knew you wanted me back and i knew i wanted you more than anything. it was perfect. i still have all i wanted. happiness. thanks. 030120 ... Lilac it_is_right_here 030121 ... me was a fucking pepsi and she wouldnt give it to me... just one pepsi and she wouldnt give it to me!!!! 080808 what's it to you? who go blather from