afterwards misstree Afterwards 5.10 I open my eyes, the waves of ecstacy receding into the void and look up into the face of a stranger. His eyes twinkle with adoration, so I casually don a pleased mask for his benefit, a penny to a pauper. Boredom already yellowing the edges of the moment, a tired lie tumbles from my lips, an excuse to leave, and he smiles in vacant sympathy. I pull on my clothes to stifle the urge to pat him on the head like a pleased puppy-- let the newest number in this endless procession have their hopes and illusions entwined in this moment, in me, if it brings a little joy. A final smile and a deftly dodged kiss bring me through the threshold, abandoning the useless masks and misles, pausing to regard the empty street. The pause is the knife to coldly notch the bedpost-- I've been here before, in different cities, different times, and the empty street afterwards knows me better than any lover ever will. (i may try to publish this eventually... so don't steal it. *stern glare*) 010128 ... kerry up until now i had these high hopes of going to some ivy league college and being a super-nerd all into academics and coffeeshops once i was finally through with high school. now, the further i get into it, the more i realize i dont want to be involved in anything. and i don't know if i want to learn anything else at the moment, and i don't understand why people keep trying to cram things into my brain. hence the word "my"...it is MY brain, shouldnt i have some choice about what goes into it? i consider myself curious and intellectual but i want to be choosy. i want to sign myself up for classes that will point me in some sort of distinct direction instead of wasting my time learning about conic sections and logarithms and the atomic numbers of molecules. i will never write books about atomic numbers or the character's genetic makeup. i just want to write about real things. i dont even care about a prestigious college anymore... i care about going somewhere where the weather is nice and the coffee is hot. 021211 what's it to you? who go blather from