ro_rambling_roost
Dora BOO! 040904
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ro will ramble on eep!
hehe i was a'feared someone might make this page! now i feel all obligated to ramble and roost and whatnot...
hrm i'm still wearing the same clothes from yesterday after another day of work. i'm still hungover from last night methinks. i had better amble on home lest this post become more laborious.
040904
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REAListic optimIST what a strange point_in_time this particular moment is. I sit here at my mom's house, likely for the last time. Since she was just diagnosed with lung cancer, who knows how many more times I will see her in any setting? I'm reconnecting with my roots and with people from old lives long forgotten. I'm now a man on his own path, but so many things are falling apart in my family while my life opens up to success. How do I get my mom to see how much it crushes me that she continues to smoke cigarettes to die in the same way her mom and sister did? How do I get her to see that she needs to get a payee if she is ever going to get away from the debt that plagues her? How can I get her to understand that she can have the things she wants if she can just let go of the control she thinks she has and just give over to her future, when she can't believe she has one due to her diagnoses? I think my grandmother was correct when she said that I can't get my mom to do these things, that I can't get my sister to let her mother back into her life and into her daughter's life, and that all I can do is be there and be reliable and solid because people are going to do what they do, and there are some things in the world that I just can't fix. I told her I understood, but that I had to try. 071123
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i would i'd give you my heart if i could 071123
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REAListic optimIST although the sentiment is appreciated, i'd never be able to accept someone else's heart if i didn't have one to give in return. 071222
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