kingsuperspecial Ingredients:

2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup cake flour (not self-rising)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
12 to 14 large egg whites (1 2/3 cups)
1 1/4 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 pints lemon sorbet
1 box Rice-A-Roni
4 cups noodles - pre-cooked
2 packages frosting of choice
750ml bottle of premium brand bourbon
Lots of crushed ice
2 bottles of $10-$15 California Zinfandel
1 can Alid Brand ravioli
1 black latex dildo, 10length
1 X-large pizza with spinach, onions, mushrooms, black olives, and garlic
1 New Latinaries (vol.3) CD
1 Massive Attack (Mezzanine) CD
1 ax handle
1 copy 'The Matrix' motion picture

optional: chopped hazelnuts and sugar crusted mint leaves for garnish

- before starting, pre-cook the Rice-A-Roni and Noodles per manufacturer's instructions. Set aside. (by the way, NOBODY in San Francisco eats Rice-A-Roni, so get over it)

- pour 4oz shot of bourbon, drink in one gulp. chase with as much packaged cake frosting as will fit on one finger.

- Preheat oven to 375 degrees C. Open can of Aldi Ravioli and place in oven on center rack.

-In medium bowl, with a CLEAN fork, mix cake flour, salt, and confectioners' sugar. Set aside someplace, but be sure you’ll remember where it is later.

4. In large bowl, with mixer at high speed, beat egg whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form; quickly beat in vanilla extract (don't drink the extract - the bourbon should be enough for you, drunkie). sprinkle in confectioners' sugar mixture, 2 tablespoons at a time, beating until sugar dissolves and whites stand in the hall feeling a bit uncomforable, not sure if they should give you a kiss goodnight or not.

- remove Aldi Ravioli from oven, eat with fork straight from can. Mmmmm.

- in large sauce pan, gently melt 'can't_believe_it's_not_butter', add brown sugar until dissolved. gently sauté Rice-A-Roni and noodles until evenly coated. set aside.

- pour another 4oz shot of bourbon, drink as described earlier.

- answer door, let guests in. Give them Zinfindel (trust me, they won't want bourbon), play New Latinaries cd for their amusment.

- Gently fold flour mixture into beaten egg whites using 10" black latex dildo, just until blended. Repeat procedure for rice/noodle mixture, then place batter into well greased 10-inch tube pan. Set timer for 35 minutes. Clean dildo thoroughly.

- fill glass with crushed ice, pour bourbon over ice until glass overflows slightly. sip bourbon smugly while pretending to enjoy company of friends.

- when timer goes off, cake should springs back when lightly touched. Invert cake in pan on empty bourbon bottle and let cool completely. this would be a fine time to eat the pizza, as the cooling may take a bit. When New Latinaries CD has stopped, switch to Mazzive Attack (Mezannine) album (duh)

- once pizza is gone, friends are drunk, and the cake is cool, leave them yammering at the table and return to kitchen. Cover cake with remaining frosting, then carefully place cleaned dildo in an erect position protruding from center of tube cake. Serve with lemon sorbet and optional garnish to bewildered guests. After desert, take ax handle and threaten to bash in the skull of anyone who stays, explaining that the bourbon is creeping up on you and you've had just about enough. Once alone, take remaining ice and bourbon into the living room and watch 'The Matrix' over and over until unconscious.

. marthastuartgotnothinonme
birdmad thanks man.

if i hadn't read that just now...

who knows.
kingsuperspecial I'd just like to add that this recipe is in no way intended to compete with baby_satan's_snack_tips , which I fully endorse and regularly enjoy.

This is an old family dish passed down from Evil Knievel after he jumped the the Simi Valley Walmart on a stolen piece of tow-behind expandable travel luggage. It's mostly a cerimonial dish, frequently served at meetings of the 237th Kwianis Lodge in Southwick Massachusettes at the two minute warning of SuperBowl games about to be lost by the New England Patriots.

for more great recipes from the Knievel family, check out this link:
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