resonant unhinged reverberating to the point of amplification in_the_wake_of_the_thunderstorm the way the trees amplified the violence of the storm the night we were sleeping together on the futon and the storm scared me being next to you afraid you might overdose in your sleep scared me and the lightening and thunder seemed right outside the window the house shook i screamed you told me to shut up or a different him telling me i was stupid for having an emotional reaction to his criticisms of the way i handled my life like i shouldn't have taken it personally that he told me i was lazy and irresponsible (and then on top of that stupid !!!) don't cry don't be afraid don't give up don't get sick don't stop don't feel don't be afraid don't cry from an emotionally repressed father that always pointed out what i shouldn't be doing to one emotionally repressed man after another pointing out what i wasn't doing my heart is always on (he told me i should always give 110%) the spigot is broken i cry i am afraid i give up i don't have that kind of fight in me to stem a flood torrents pressure things crack that i cannot repair here you seem like you need what i've got 121118 ... unhinged my violin the wooden box that amplifies my soul 121202 ... unhinged (sometimes as i look at myself in the mirror getting ready for work the tears just fall out) 150331 what's it to you? who go blather from