regrets_that_still_make_my_stomach_turn phil Oh god, how I wish I could take back what I've done. Everytime I think about it, it makes my stomach turn. Help me make it go away, let me delete blather entirely. Oh god, the things that I can't say outloud. I simply can't do it, I can't say them, they are bottled up, I could almost say them, they are so close, so sayable, but so impossible. Wreck. I have to do it, every moment of everyday, I want it to be, not even you can help. 020212 ... sabbie no regrets. not today! but no regrets ever. its such a waste of energy. you cant go back. you cant change what you did, why spend all that time agonising over it. i stand by the fact that all my actions ever were the right thing to do at the time for me and if i look back now and say 'well, i prolly wouldnt have done that the same way this day' that is becuase i am a different person than the sab who did the things she did back then. my choices today might be different but i wasnt making those choices today. i made them yesterday when i did what i did because i needed to do it. no regrets. not today no regrets. not ever 020212 ... misstree all the times i did, and all the times i didn't. and all the things i did and didn't with you, and you, and you... if i could have you here, in my hands like a baby bird for just a moment, i would lay a gentle breath upon you and you would know why, and it would all be set to peace. 020212 ... jane cheating on the church history final. that was 3 days ago, and they put me on probation for next year today plus a 0 on the final 020607 ... MsChitChat the whole ncssm thing...and mom finding the note about jeremy...those two things still make me feel like i can't breathe, like i'm seriously dying inside 020608 ... hey now! imdrunk. i really shouldnt have smoked that weed just then, man i feel sick now 020608 ... phil what was the note about? 020709 ... jane see: nietzsche. maybe doesn't seem that bad, but it's one of those ones i held onto for some reason. 070725 ... FA113N The things that my hands have done. 121212 what's it to you? who go blather from