Dafremen I, Bing Bong Baruvilous, Master of Stoppage, Prince of Purple Cabbage and King of the Wild Burrito Band, hereby proclaim an end to the practice of self indulgent expression. Furthermore, false concern is proclaimed to be banned throughout the realm, along with polite interest. Let there be frank and honest assessments throughout the kingdom, such as would make a Sagittarian blush scarlet red and a Virgo blush crimson purple.

I proclaim an end to political correctness and hereby outlaw all forms of correctness of any kind. Holding one's tongue in the name of societal acceptance is henceforth and forthwith a crime of the highest magnitude, punishable by a fine of not less than one testicle or ovary, or a date with artichoke hearts and onion-fried liver, whichever proves to be more painful.

There is no longer cause for alarm, nor is there cause to be self conscious..(of course our majesty COULD be wrong). Such foolishness is to be avoided on pain of public make that pubic whipping..with not light, but HEAVY Cool Whips.

All subjects throughout the land shall refrain from repeating the same angst filled drivel over and over as our royal majesty has become bored to tears with such rantings. Instead, any and all young adults are to spend a significant amount of their free time perusing prior rantings in search of one which expresses their feelings most closely, and then are to state simply and succinctly, "Pretty much what _____ said in the _____ blather." Any further repetition with the exception of perhaps, "Me too", shall result in immediate removal of the offender's keyboard and banishment from the kingdom.

Let there be no mistaking our highness' royal displeasure with repetitive wooin', sparkin' and spoonin' either. Any expression found to be dripping with the LUST-filled sentiments that are what appear to pass for "LOVE" amongst the commoners has become wearisome and po0p-filled in the highest and will no longer be tolerated or accepted. Again, the only acceptable manner in which such sentiments are to be REPEATED is as our glory has previously stated in the case of the "misunderstood" angst-ridden peons wandering the kingdom. Offenders will be hung from the nearest flagpole by their nah-nah fritters until the veins in their eyes match in size the ones in their arms. Female offenders will be dragged by alpaca, belly down, along a gravel road to the nearest fishmonger where, upon arriving, they will be slapped in their bruised and bloodied cachongas with salted mackerel.

All derogatory expression which claims to be commentary or criticisms aimed at this proclamation are most heartily welcomed and will bring great joy to our monarchal existence and cause our royal visage to glow with contentment. Such comments will be warmly greeted and shall confer upon their expressors, the highest glories and honors which can be bestowed upon our loyal subjects.

So has it been spoken by our most exquisite majesty, I, the magnificent Bing Bong Baruvilous, Master of Cleaving, Prince of Persimmon Tarts and King of the Wild Burrito Band.

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Kontrol Fascinating speech Mr Bing Bong. Were I not long retired I would join you in your quest but you can borrow my_book any time you like. 020616
Bing Bong Baruvilous YOU just happen to be the most flagrant of violators of our new laws. Were it not for the past tense nature of your transgressions, you would currently be serving 5 to 25 in a vat of gruel at our royal sloppery. Your self indulgent expression is the foulest of black marks (or should we say Crosses Hmmmm?) upon the face of our kingdom. The impertinence of comparing YOUR Saturday Night Live-esque drivel (ala Schprockets or The Weakest Link) with our royal proclamation is absurd. You have brought a smile to our chubby royal cheeks and for that you shall be spared. 020616
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