orchestra_jokes
devalis It's time to get them all in one place.

ON QUARTETS:
A string quartet is composed of a violinist, a bad violinist, a former violinist and someone who hates violinists.

A quartet made up of a two violinists, a violist and a bassist is playing at a wedding when one of the wedding guests drops a $100 bill. None of the other guests notices. Who in the quartet gets the $100 bill?
The second violinist. Why?
The first violinist doesn't get it because a first violinist isn't going anywhere for $100. The bassist doesn't get it because he's too stupid to realize that $100 has been dropped. And the violist doesn't get it because he was too busy trying to figure out how the fuck to play out of first position.

***

ON VIOLISTS:
What's the difference between a violist and a seamstress? A seamstress tucks up frills.

What's the difference between a violist and a prostitute? A prostitute knows more than one position.

What's the difference between a viola and a violin? A viola burns longer.

***

ON CELLISTS:
What's the difference between a cello and a casket? With a casket, the dead body is on the inside.

That's all I got, give me more!
020921
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devalis what's the difference between first viola and 4th viola? 5 measures. 020921
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Aimee how do you make a cello sound good?





sell it and buy a violin.






how do you make a bass sound good?







chop it up and using it for firewood.
020922
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