oh_god_please so fucking lost dont be dead. dont be dead. appear re-appear somewhere in my life. im begging you. screaming into a void that i know you cannot hear please. PLEASE dont be dead. fuck... 030917 ... endless desire what happened 030917 ... so fucking lost trapped behind walls of non-communication red and blind Panic rising screams are building and have no-where to go i have no avenue to persue im trapped and waiting passive not by choice but forced by situation please, Please just tell me you're ok. 030917 ... Death of a Rose hear our screams 031021 ... hy don't let me fall don't make me rot not here not now please let me rescue myself i've got iron boxes to put the pieces in it'll be okay but i just need to get around this bend so that i can scream in piece please please please leave me out of this it's just me in here and there's no use in oh god please leave me alone i need myself all of it every drop and i can't go there it's poison don't you understand it'll kill me it'll kill that this is just a mood just a mood just a mood just a mood god make it go it scares me and makes me want to turn there and it scares me even more to look there when i hurt i won't go i will lock myself in and fix things harden things turn and tweak things i will not go there it is poison i need to live take this out of me take it burn it crush it stomp it make it scream and bleed and i'll grin to see it writhe outside of me i will feel so clean and light and free and no no no it cannot be living there please please let me go 040226 ... misstree the same phrase, franticly repeated, the only words able to issue in such grips. it cannot be accident that orgasm and soul_rot draw the same powerless cries. and my draw for the former is explained by the overabundance of the latter. 050803 what's it to you? who go blather from