The Prophet
Kahlil Gibran
(if you're just joining us... WELCOME_TO_ORPHALESE)
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
"When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for Gods sacred feast. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Lifes heart. But if in your fear you would seek only loves peace and loves pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of loves threshing floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, God is in my heart, but rather, I am in the heart of God. And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; and to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; to rest at the noon hour and meditate loves ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude; and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "and what OF_MARRIAGE, master?
a chaotic gift to idealism love is good
if you know how

holding the love of another souls heart
when the powers of god connot break you apart
their beauty in your eyes never lets you down
the greatest of all things is what you have found
the smile they bring screams so loud
when you have this love.. you smile so proud

love is good
if you know how
love hater it's a crime if anything 050613
a chaotic gift to idealism it is quite so 050613
factory reject "if loving you is a crime, then i'd be happy doing time"? 050613
three words loveyou of_love clicky_finger 061025
dafremen "The idea that one can "find true love" is a fallacy.

It may be possible ro happen upon true love during a search for true love..but the search was simply a circumstance (among many) during which true love took root. It might well have been in an elevator on the way to work with no search at all. Without getting into existentialism too much, let's just say that our brain likes to take credit for the things that happen in our lives, love is no exception..and so the brain calls its years of trial and error, suffering and pining..a search. And if and when the universe deems us ready for the love it has prepared for us and drops it in our laps..we claim to have FOUND true love when in fact it was handed to us.

So to answer this question, let's first rephrase it to get to the meat of what the questioner is asking: When will true love come into my life?

The answer to that question is: When you have done the work required to prepare yourself for it.

Each relationship is like a seed. There is soil and there is water: the material needs of the relationship and its emotional needs.

Think of each person as bringing both their own "secret soil recipe" and their watering can of "My Miracle Sprout Mix" to the garden party that is romance.

At first, we're inexperienced gardeners..and so our recipe may not be what is required. It may be lacking in some of the nutrients required for our perfect love to flourish. And so we adjust ourselves. Become less of a slob just a bit and the soil is better for this type of lover. Learn to not be quite so uptight a touch and the soil is more balanced for this type. Turn our emotional intensity down a touch and the pH of our water is better for these sorts of partners, turn it on, and we don't risk seeming cold to a different type.

Let there be no doubt about it. Some gardeners straight up get lucky with their gardening secrets. Everything's just right, the first time around. And even more rarely, their partner's ready too. That's undeniably nice. That's love at first sight. Don't bank on it. Don't count on it. Don't make it a big deal. It's just beginner's luck. New recipes invariably need tweaking..and so the universe tweaks us. If we watch and are willing to adjust; learning the lessons that time, tenderness and heartache have to teach us, then slowly, the universe will hammer us into shape.

If we resist this hammering. Stubbornly clinging to our notion of what it is that we want from love and life, and what it is that we want love and life to be..then we will wait for love. And we will wait for life.

Love and life will be there all along, opportunities passing through our days. But they won't sprout until we are ready for them, and so we'll remain oblivious to the fact that they were ever there at all. That, friends is a lifetime of loneliness..lovelessness.

But if we let ourselves be shaped by life, let the universe perfect our gardening supplies, feeling the cues for change, listening for what is required of us and remaining open to any and all possibilities, then we will have true love as surely as pulling dirt from the ground leaves a hole. Just live your life. Don't search for anything, you couldn't find it anyway. Just relax and get ready for love.

A final word of caution: No one that makes you feel bad about yourself is worthy of your love. No one that makes you feel guilty, unworthy, inadequate, ugly, stupid or otherwise worthless is worthy of your love, time or attention. Don't you know who you are? Don't you know that they need your attention more than life itself..because it is life itself to them? Don't you know that you are a mighty, mighty being destined to bring great happiness, to the one who adores you? You do now.

Don't baby these selfish bullies. Move on. They aren't ready for you yet."

-- from "ask_dafremen"
unhinged thanks for the needed_reminders daf 130502
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