letter_to_cris jane crista. my goddess. i pray to you for guidance. forgive me , for something has happened. russell was convinced last night that it was over because he thought i was a gold digger. i was so frustrated because i was thinking - my god, you will never meet someone more of the opposite. so yeah, i got really pissed off & took a cab to coney island. longest ride of my life. problem was, i didnt really know where i was going. so i got out of the cab not wanting to pay this guy any more money. i called russell & told him i was there but that i didnt know where i was. i was also wearing flip flops because i'm a moron. turns out i was only a block away. anyway, i got up there & we were talking & then he was like looking into my eyes & says, "oh my god." i'm like, what?? he's like, i can see it in your eyes. "what???" turns out he thinks i'm in love with him. seriously. he thinks he can see it in my eyes. did it ever occur to him that i could actually be so stubborn to the point where i have to travel an hour to be listened to & believed? coney island is like afghanistan, cris. far far away. anyway, neither of us got any sleep, we weren't doing anything, just couldn't sleep. got up at eight this morning & took the train into the city together. hes supposed to call me soon but oh god i can't believe he thinks i'm in love with him. i actually felt bad that he thought that & told him that i wasn't...but he still didnt believe me. thats the major problem with him - he believes whatever the fuck he wants to believe. damn. 040213 ... jane i can't believe you are going to marry diana. i'm sorry i don't get to see your face every day so i can't notice whatever it is i needed to notice to be "okay for you to marry." it really bothers me that because of lack of oppurtunity i fell behind. maybe i noticed already but didn't say anything. maybe i'm complaining because this sort of thing has been happening a lot lately 040215 what's it to you? who go blather from