yummychuckle I toss and turn
blistered by the heat
my boiling blood
leaves in trails on my small mattress.
I can't fit you in here,
nor him or him or him or him
my bed is too small
it fits only me,
and my feet seem to dangle off at times
because I squirm my way to the bottom.
my life is too small for you
and i drown myself just fine
by myself.
its misery
to be with me
so why bother?
you wouldn't fit anyway.
my head is much too small
for all the stirring
it has been up to
in the middle of the night.

i hope you understand.
birdmad kill the lights and stare at the dark ceiling and the glow of the pale blue-white LED display of my stereo

listen to the scuttling rat in the garage whose continued existence mocks me, traps sprung with no furry little rodent corpse to placate me

tune out all the sound in the world, the traffic in the distance, the scuttling of the rat, the sheetmetal scraping in the breeze in the neighbour's ad hoc junkyard until there is nothing but the vague onset of tinnitus and underneath the ringing is the sound of my pulse rushing in my ears

( saw me standing alone)
. hungry ghosts from the past tear at my dreams . .

worries swell and troubles swarm
making a buzzing in my head
i'll get no sleep or rest it seems
i'm covered up but i can't get warm
i just roll around in my bed

the thoughts come foward in endless streams . . .

"yawn" things aren't so bad after all
things will always turn out alright
worries in the dark hours do no good
you can't take action so late at night

jnb hbub hbhb bla blah!
what's it to you?
who go