ive_lost_my_mind elimeny please let me know you. you.. you. so reserved, and i just don't know.. anything. And it's crazy, because they always say you can read someone through their eyes, and i've always thought that was bullshit. But you were talking, talking it doesnt even matter what you were talking about. i know KNOW you could see it in my eyes. Now I know that I am a very intense, emotional person, i know that I can be somewhat overbearing, I know I fall fast, I know that can be very threatening, i know all these things. I know a lot. But I also know you havent changed since then. It's just me. I should have never met you. We should have just continued to talk online. I should have never ever agreed to meet you. Because Goddammit, I can't stop thinking about you. Just stop it. Stop being you. Stop talking. No, wait, i didn't mean it! Say something, anything, I don't care... at least when we are talking here you can't see me.. you can't see that i HANG on every word you say... every letter you type. How can this be happening? It can't be. I'm an adult now, not some stupid naieve 16 year old girl... I'm a grown up now, and grown ups shouldn't have crushes. I've worked very hard to repair myself, to grow up, to be a mature individual. And you just have no idea how much your normality and sanity drives me crazy with want. I didn't know what i wanted, but I look at you, and I listen to you, and I watch you, and it hits me. I want you. And i'm disgusted, DISGUSTED with myself. I'm pissed off, and frustrated, and everything in between. You probably want me to leave you alone. I probably should. I'm trying so hard not to change myself for you, not to act a certain way. But I can see it this time, I see how I am drawing myself into your personality. How does someone with such a vibrant personality such as myself get lost in another's so easily? Only when I've been with someone I didn't care that much for have I been able to be myself, truly be myself. You make me nervous. And giddy. Little girls get nervous and giddy. Not grown women. Where the HELL am i? 021211 ... elimeny you didn't want to look in my eyes. Is it because you could tell? Did those eyes that everyone compliments scare you away? Next time I'll wear sunglasses. 021211 ... Kristopher There are worse things to lose than one's mind. . . One's car keys, now that comes to mind Hee. 021214 ... girlnamedlover where_is_my_mind ? 021215 ... p2 where was the last place you left it? 021215 ... monee blah 041217 ... pSyche Damn. Should have listened to mom when she told me "Don't play poker and bet anything valuable" well... I didn't think my mind was THAT valuable. oh well. 041217 what's it to you? who go blather from