inspired_by_random_flashes_of_i_know_not_what sabbie i sat the recommdended chair and the darkness decended. it was a total darkness, not the darkness of a moonless night, not the darkness jsut after you turn off the telly, but real darkness. not the absence of light but the consumation of light. the darkness was blue, a little cold, but that was only because we had not yet been introduced [and here i pause to note that every darkness is different, every night is new.] i sat on my chair, arms draped on the armrests. i would love to be able to proclaim that i am comfortable in any situation but the fact is that i was not. the darkness was not unfriendly, just unknown and i had nothing to start a conversation with it. something ruffled behind me, a noise like petty_angels crossing. a starched silence followed it as i became more nervous. the darkness smelt like a job interview, the silence sounded like someone elses church. i could hear the candles but the blackness remained absolute. i went to raise my arm, to scratch my head, to rub my face, anything to reassert myself in this situation, to remind myself that i was here, but there was no responce from my arm. i blinked. i tried to wiggle my toes, move my feet, but nothing. no responce, no busy tone, no answering machine that said 'weve gone to lunch' jsut nothing. resounding, defining silence. i couldnt feel my legs, could not even breathe. the darkness was becoming thicker, like i was gently drowning in liquid. panic was rising inside by outside the darkness smothered any reaction. i had crawling, prickling sensations across my face, i could hear little quiet chittering noises that fell instantly silent the second i heard them. i felt somethng move past my face and there was a tightening sensation across my chest, pinning my lungs where they were, unable to inflate further or deflate again. i opened my mouth to gather more air and something else intirly passes my lips. i dont know what it is, but its big, it forces my mouth open wider, wider, until my jaw feels like its going to crack. it fills my mouth, nosing around my gums, making its intrusive way down my throat. more and more of it enters my mouth, filling my throat, unable to breath, my vision is letting off fireworks in its panic. i try to move my head but something has pinned my hair. it has stopped moving, but doesnt withdraw. its waiting for something. i cant move. i cant breath. i cant scream. im sitting in the dark, paralised, mouth filled and pried apart to breaking point by something and im waiting. 020521 ... phil don't panic 020521 ... phil there is something between this page, and the last page I was on. It's kind of a strange random thing. I click back, and it waits and waits and waits, I click back again and it goes back to the last screen I was at. Then I click forward and it waits and waits and waits, and then I hit foward again. It goes to this screen. 020521 ... phil Ok now get this, I typed that in, then hit blather, it waited and waited and waited, then I hit blather again, and it said I already said that. So I hit back to look at the blathe and it waits and waits, well I have to hit back another time to get a big white screen. Now I am back at where I started, with yet more mysteries. 020521 ... phil now, it's all gone. Vanished I hit recent this time instead of foward, to get to this page. 020521 ... phil evidently, I hit "who" button. And you can't go back into the who section, you can only get there by clicking the "who" button. Now I will attempt to reenact the white screen by hitting "blather", and then becoming impatient, hitting blather again, going to the screen that tells me I already typed that. Hitting "back" button, and waiting and waiting then hitting it again. Wow aren't computers fun :) 020521 ... phil haha! it worked...try to contain your excitement. 020521 ... phil ok, I guess it worked a little different the second time. Evidently I ahve to go through the process of waiting for a screen that will not come up a number of times before "any other screen" will turn up white...this time I hit "who" and it turned out white, after waiting a certain number of times. I think it is 8? 020521 ... squint jesus. that was time consuming to read. 020528 ... . . 030925 what's it to you? who go blather from