erin eternities are going by until u think of me ,pick up the phone and call ,god damnit!

*I always do this if he doesnt call or does its a test of if he loves me...i am pathetic*
pixt plenty... blame myself blame others

outa control in a techi environment
pushpins I'm too fat
too ugly
I look pissed off
my feet are ugly
I'm too naive
too stupid
too young
my chest is too big
im awkward
optic discretion I've been feeling more and more insecure these days ... I really don't know why. I feel like I'm still the same, still the same face that looks back each morning from the mirror, still the same hand that writes in the same penmanship each day ...

Yet something feels different,
I worry about getting fat now,
about school,
about life,
about stuff that seemed so trifling before ...
what's happening to me?

I guess it's all part of growing up ... such growing pains ...
cube We all face insecurities - it's a fact of life. They seem to grow in proportion to the time we spend looking inward. Navel gazing. Ergo, overcoming them is to look outward.

Becoming involved in untried activities and pushing personal boundaries. These are the people whom we admire. They have less time for insecurities...
optic discretion Yet my insecurities grow as I involve and envelop myself in more and more activities ...

I do hope that I have lived up to my expectations ...
girl_jane To risk sounding trite and cliche - love conquers all

-including insecurities...
me to skinny, to ugly, disgusted with myself, yearning for all my insecurites to be replaced with love form another which is impossible until I replace it all with self love. 060911
luckycat I am insecure.
I see eveything I am suppose to be in everyone else.
I se my fat,
I see my stretchmarks fom years of bulimia gaining and loosing weight.
I see my failures and never let them go though I am considered succesful now.
I see me not good enough for the relationship I am in. I see fat,
I am insecure with others when I try to learn and I am not the best.
I am inscure when I do not know how to do something.
I see failure.
I see fat.
I se not good enough. I am insecure
the girl formerly known as IGG I turn 20 tomorrow, making this the last day of my teenage years. I'm sat in the shaft of sunshine searing through the partially open curtains cradling a brew and a cig and wondering what the hell is going on with my life, that it's going all to pot.
Quite literally a lot of the time, hmm.

Anyway it has been a time of soulsearching recently, and somehow it seems that many of the things that have happened in the last year have been truly negative. So on my last teenage day I'm back to blather, which I found on a chilly December day in 2003. Good old blather, I hope you're still here when I'm 30.
. . 090412
old you'll need it more then, than you will now, at 20... 090416
niecespieces All of my insecurities seem to be connected to the fact that I feel confident with attracting men, but not confident in keeping them.
I feel false.
I feel like my facade will be discovered.
I feel like people don't want to get close.
I feel like a child.
I feel tense.
I feel
what's it to you?
who go