mmm BEEFY! moo!

G_wiz13 hehe. What possesed you to come up with this. 010214
karen Would we be the other white meat? 010214
sacred_cow Dobie dobie dobie doh.. I'm a cow.. and I'm going to go into your village.. and I'm going to eat all your food.

But you don't mind.. because I'm a sacred cow.

We live in a country.. where there are no McDonald's.. Obey the Cowgod.
MAD COW You can bet your naked monkey asses we wouldn't pave over all the good grasslands. Nor would we grind up dead livestock and add it to our feed stock.
You guys are a bunch of twisted freaks!
You may live long enough to regret it!
florescent light It is wierd, how, if you walk into a seafood resturant, you will without fail see pictures and displays of what were once live fish.

Some seafood resturants (the one that I work at) have a cartoon fish as their logo.
Would anyone eat hamburgers if McDonalds had a talking cow as their logo?
You wouldn't go into a Burger King with pictures of cows on the wall.
I think it is disrespectful to the fish.

If I was lower on the food chain, and some animal opened up a human resturant, and not only killed my species, but hung us up on the wall to stare at while they ate - I would be enraged.

We are mocking the fish.

And I think it is ironically disgusting.
something in the way "but its okay to eat fish, 'cause they don't have any feelings" 010215
mr. love? the animals i've trapped, have all become my pets 010215
MollyCule my boyfriend the computer nerd (sorry honey, but you are) had a job at a farm for two years. A cow farm. He milked the cows, he gave the cows shots, he delivered little cow babies. My favorite story from "the cow years" was the fact that, when it came time to round the cows up and put them back in the barn, a few cows would always try to outsmart him by hiding behind trees. Very small trees. Trees which did not serve to hide more than a few inches of the cow. Damn stupid creatures. Good thing they're so yummy. 010216
idiots and armadillos "I can't think of an animal who seems more willing to be shot than a cow.
I mean, serioously, look at them, if you go up to a cow, the look in their eyes practically says 'mmmrrr-shootme-mooooo'
They're perfect for it,
They're big, they're stupid, they're delicious"

--approximate excerpt of Paul Rodriguez in concert in Austin TX 1997
mmmmBEEFY! Who Let The Cows Out?
the costumer white spots
black spots
brown spots
tan spots
michelle Ok, I'll try this one....If the world was ruled by cows, would we women be connected to milkers every morning???? Would cows go into restaurants and order a finger sandwich??? or a footlong sub??? Would we be eating grass and romping in the mud??? Would we be naked daily??? Would there be divorce??? Would there be marriage????? Or would we all be gathered in a barn to mate with whoever moooooooos next to us?? 010218
michelle #2 Ok, I'll try this one....If the world was ruled by cows, would we women be connected to milkers every morning???? Would cows go into restaurants and order a finger sandwich??? or a footlong sub??? Would we be eating grass and romping in the mud??? Would we be naked daily??? Would there be divorce??? Would there be marriage????? Or would we all be gathered in a barn to mate with whoever moooooooos next to us?? 010218
green_tenedril sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
~mark twain~
crazyenglishman Then they wouldn't rule it so fucking stupidly.
Give me MY BALL!!!
a very mad daft cow says (eat me) i've got...

hoof and mouth

telegram wire and funeral pyre


yippee! i love barbecue!
flo cows do rule the world
they stand in their fields and judge us
if we are found wanting
which we always are
then we are destroyed by the psychic rays that emanate from theirr heads.

so, you say, how come they are the ones who get eaten?

and i say well they are not.

there are always the same number of cows farmers keep their heards at a certain level and the ancient intelligences that inhabit their bovine forms just shift to new calfs, offering their bodies to us as their part in our symbiotic relationship.

i thought everybody knew that.

Dafremen Good succint debriefing flo, your species thanks you.

I can only add that we should realize that with cows, we aren't really EATING them...they are infiltrating us. Finding their way to every cell in our bodies. Controlling our every desire, making us want their tasty juiciness.

P.S. I would like to second that seafood thing, florescent. That's just disrespectful. Eat if you must, but don't desecrate the dead. Perhaps a display that emphasizes man's "dominace" over nature less and his dependence on nature's bounty more. I believe that would be appropriate. Course Long John Silver's sure do cook up the cholesterol fritters good though.
black-dyed gel product If cows ruled the world, I'd hope to get set up with one of those sweet veal force-feeding pens because I don't think I'd mind being in a box and made to eat. I could get to enjoy that kind of treatment. 010725
Dafremen Hey BDGP! Do you know any jokes that involve cracking a 4 year old's pelivs? 010726
Dafremen Er...pelvis that is...
yummyC ...I wouldn't have my pretty leather boots.

ahhh nothing better than wearing a dead animals skin on your feet.
Aimee humans would be the main ingredient in hamburgers.... "two all meat human patty...." 010727
Dafremen Heheh no they pick their humans from the modern 'beatnik' crowd, tender underdeveloped poet and artist flesh...mmm sweet and juicy. "Two all-beat patties"

(Sometimes REALLY bad puns are like really BIG turds. You just might as well get em out as fast as you can cuz it's gunna hurt the same no matter what.
Mushroomman humans would be cloned for the meat market,

cattleprods would be called
humanprods... unless we are considered cattle by the cows.... then the name wouldn't change....

ooooh and the branding too...
pinkish cows are vegetarians, dorks. they wouldn't eat us.

Mushroomman What if they only eat Grass because they couldn't chew meat..... but what if they get dental work? do you think an alternate spieces of cow, would develop a taste for meat? if they were able to opt for alternitive tooth structure... if cows would be able to taste meat, chew it and swallow it, could they possibly want more....

You'd be seeing Cows stampedeing to the nearest in-n-out.... yes...... same as i do.....
Cause damnit.... In-N-OUT has some of the best fucking burgers milkshakes and fries i've had....
User24 duh, cows aren't vegetarians, they just think they are, I mean, we feed them dead cows, so how can they be veggies?

sheesh. If cows ruled the world, they must have got more intelligent, and them, they figure they weren't veggies and start eating us. AND then we'd be sorry.
Toxic_Kisses They wouldn’t eat us silly, they would use us, or @ the intelligent and useful ones they would use to make there cow world more covenant and livable, think of it, an ATM for cows, or Malls for cows, heck even computers an TV's for cows. No they would make us do all the work while they sat back an relaxed. And seeing az how the Useful ones would be brained washed they would never consider rebelling. The rest of us, the stupid useless ppl they would kill off so that the humans would have something to eat, like, what what’s that old creepy movie called? Anyhow all an all yes there would be human hamburgers. 011013
hydrochloric puppy it's people...SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!

one of the more interesting performances pulled outta charlton_heston's_ass
sabbie cows with guns

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows out gunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers

Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns
kerry we would all be vegans 011226
mcdougall everything would bo vine. 020307
phil If I was goint to kill a human being and make some sort of a meal out of him, I would definetly want a picture of him I could look at. It wouldgive me that creepy feeling while I ate. 020307
phil PERHAPS!!!!!!!
if they were going to RULE the world, COWS would have to BE a LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT than they are right now. THEY MAY EVEN stop BEING vegetarians AND EAT people's BRAINS!
phil cows are made out of vegetables anyways 020307
R. This so reminds me of "The War of the Worlds". I bet the blockbuster release, sure to come after "The Time Machine", will not include the scenes where Aliens hunt down humans in order to eat 'em.

If cows ruled the world, we'd all be working three hours a day only, and'd spend the other hours resting.

btw: Yo! Sabbie! Good piece!
R. When talking about vegetarianism, one of my friends said she doesn't bother, 'cause catle's destiny is to be killed and eaten. They were born for it. If this were true, why do they hesistate when being taken to the slaughter? 020308
Ivonna H. Everybody said that cows would be: "asking for a finger sandwich" and ordering human meat hamburgers; but cows are vegeterians, just because they rule earth that doesn't make them carnivores. HA!! It's not loke it's all our caracteristics just that we look like cows. THEY'RE COWS!! The move really slowly, eat grass an' shit and spend all day vomiting and eating again and again the food they ate like 8 hours ago. They are not very smart at all. AWW!! Now i feel sort of sorry for the poor cows, they're so useless... Well, nevertheless, my point was just that cows wouldn't become smart vegeterians just because they rules the world- ALTHOUGH, when presenting such a far out concept as COWS ruling the world, anything can be posible. DAMN THOSE FUCKIN UGLY COWS! 020308
blue moo-moo moo. 020308
Mateo Ivonna: You sholdnt say things like that, my mother is a cow and she read it and it really hurt her feelings. YOU UGLY STUPID HUMAN!!!! 020312
carne de metal mateo: your mother is one fat ugly bitch, not a cow.
Mateo jaque mate? hijo de puta, dije cosas peores y mejor colocadas sobre RoXana y nunca dije jaque nada. Chupa suelas. 020317
jessicafletcher ummm....i only speak english,and it's a shame because i bet that was funny. anyway, i love cows because when they are born, they just stand up. that's the way it oughtta be. not to mention, pooing outdoors is cool, too. 020516
CJ I think you should refer to farside for how the world would be if ruled by cows 020516
Daria Yes, what if Gary Larson ruled the world, would cows rule too? 020516
kerry ha ha ha 020516
josie & phsyke Cows would be saying "hii" in humour.

On the assumption that they're not intelligent cows ruling the world, the world would be a sham. When asked on the state of Iraq, their only response would be to go "moo" and then shit themselves.
celestias shadow cows are god's way of reminding us that he is ALWAYS watching.....have you ever looked a cow in the eye? i mean REALLY looked it in the eye? you'd know what i meant. oh yes. do not doubt the power of the cows. they will be watching. always, they will be watching. and waiting. 030911
confused the world isn't ruled by cows? what have i been thinking??? 030911
. 030912
mon mooman race 030912
pobodys nerfect If the world was ruled by cows:
~we could poop everywhere
~the air quality might not be so great(methane gas)
~they'd probably eat us(which could be good for controlling the human population)
~just to be cruel,they might force pregnant women into becoming the producers of dairy products
~black and white would never go out of fashion. Hey wait a second,except for the no shoes after labour day thing this one's already true...maybe they've already started taking control? ;)
nomme http://www.fodder.moodream.not 030912
screwing for virginity i feel stupid. i just spen like 5 minits trying to get that address to work.

is a bit slow
nomme mooops soyry 030913
imposter So did I, so did I. . .

This string amuses me to no end.
pipedream i wonder what mateo was saying
*agrees with imposter*
who i am doesnt matter anymore it would be the shit 031019
thieums If the world was ruled by cows, who would produce milk ? 040413
Just another thought Goats? But if cows did the evolutionary juggling act and wound up intelligent enough to control the environment around them, I would say that the likely hood of "milk" even existing highly improbable. They might have a Chloroific Protein drink though.....
bad translator "jaque mate? hijo de puta, dije cosas peores y mejor colocadas sobre RoXana y nunca dije jaque nada. Chupa suelas."

checkmate? son of a whore,... something about said bad things and best placed on RoXana and never said check nothing... you suck soles [of shoes??] ??

your guess is better than mine...
minnesota_chris that's what goes through my head, when I lose at chess. You suck soles of shoes! 040505
god rabbit, cows, panda fixation 040506
globalfruitbat "what are you?"
"I'm an otter"
"What do you do?"
"I swim around on my back and do cute human things with my paws."
"You're free to go. What are you?"
"I'm a cow."
"Get in the truck."

- Dennis Leary on how we choose which animals we eat, i.e/ based on their cuteness factor
CowsAndMoosesRule cows already rule... didnt u know? 041013
Lafiel never say no until the cow crow...

But always refain from processed meat because the cows don't like useing microsoft excel...
flowerock every lawn would actually be a garden, since cows eat grass... ^.* 140226
what's it to you?
who go