no reason i wish i could stop pushing it away 030828
jane i want to fall in love again
i feel cheap, like a pair of shoes someone never really bothered to wear
i want to find what i came three thousand miles to find...
Lemon_Soda alot. 030829
meghan brown i've met this new boy, a vegan, long-haired. just like the last, but different, and he buys me plants for my room and brings me homemade curry and pasta for lunch. he kisses me like i might break if he pushes too hard.

((sometimes i think i'd like to be pushed. other times i think i want to hide this love away.))
ClairE At times it is just an emptiness, and I let other things echo through. 031124
Syrope i miss the newness - the crushes and uncertainty, but only every now and then. i've come to realize...

that what i really miss is the certainty that when i reach my hand out to you, you'll hold it. the certainty that if i want to turn over but am all wrapped up in the blankets, you'll help me rearrange (and maybe even sneak in a kiss or cuddle). the certainty that if i do something totally stupid or get in trouble or fail at something - you'll let me bitch and moan for a while before bringing me back to reality (but that you *will* eventually bring me back to reality and put things back in perspective for me)

i don't just miss love
and i don't just miss you

i miss being in love with you, loving you, and you loving me, being in love with me.

even though i am still in love with you, still do love you, the time between your visits is so hard and so lonely. i miss us.
bird Love, meanwhile, carries a sniper rifle and never hesitates to use it 031125
misstree hmmm..... hrrrmmm.... lesseeee.... maybe... nnnnnnnnope..... mmm? mm mmm... nope, don't miss it a bit. 031125
shh i miss having another breathing rhythm to listen to at night, cuddling during the day to prevent cancer, dancing with the light of love in our eyes, a counterpoint to every observation, a second opinion i trust, two coats hanging on one door, a place to run to when the world is beating me down, kissing in the cold, dark night, depending on each other for warmth, not caring if the world should burn (as long as you don't go with it).

but i also miss incessant, pointless fighting, your complete lack of interest in my life, my schoolwork, my passions, trying my best to get you to think about me instead of other people during dead, boring sex, your unwillingness to do anything with me that involves going outside, being nothing more than a fixture on the wall of your life, that you occasionally point out to the people who actually matter to you.

i feel as profoundly empty this morning as the day we fell apart. but it's a dry, hollow emptiness these days, and i guess on some future day it will be dusty, parched, cracked, and ready to be filled with something much better. hurry up, day.
wingedSerpent ahh fuck it, i'm buying a kevlar vest, let it take it's best goddamn shot, it's not gonna hit the few fragments of me that it hasn't alreay shot off 031127
what's it to you?
who go