blue star I like myself so much better when I'm not taking prozac. I'm much smarter, much more emotionally intelligent... And I say what I feel more often. And my poetry is oh, so much less sucky. hehe... if you can imagine that

But i have much fewer friends when I'm off of my prozac. And I can never say the right things. I make statements that don't sound correct. Other people can't figure out what I'm thinking. It makes me want to cry to think that I need to take a pill to communicate my thoughts with other people.

There are people who don't care that I take antidepressants. There are people who pretend that they don't care that I take antidepressants. There are the poeple that say, hey, that's great, whatever helps you out. And there are people who look down on me for taking them.

I don't know why it's an issue that they need to deal with.

If I were to tell my parents that I was off of my prozac, they would become very upset with me. And they would be right. Because I know that sometime soon, I am goign to melt down. I will have a horrible emotional episode. It may even last for a long time. I risk all this for the sake of really feeling my emotions, for being able to find myself, if only for a few short weeks, underneath the practicalities of stoicism.
daxle i'm_off_my_paxil
and boy are the pulsations fun
Mahayana ever since the [X 'and' i]
have been split up
and esp since the X has been moved out
i have been off of my
+ Neurontin
+ Fluvoxamine
[and you know what i dont even miss it]

+i dont have someone telling me i cant do anything right each day/minute/night
+i dont have someone yelling in the house everynight at the dogs & i
+i dont have someone always angry & cold

and hell ive been feeling pretty damn good ... sure i get lonely ... sure i have the stress of moving out, getting a job, repairing and cleaning a house to sell, sure i miss one of our doggies she took with her, sure i miss our other doggy i had to find a home for, sure i get a lil weepy & sentimental sometimes, sure its difficult dealing with the X when she still insists on playing emotional games, sure i even get depressed & still have depression, ... but hell i dont feel like killing myself everynight, i dont feel majorly depressed-like living through a mental breakdown, & i dont have to be under the same roof of a controlling codependent person

[& i dont miss any of the +-chaos-+]
[[nor the pills]]

[sideaffects are going]
!yeay to sensitivity!
blue star I decided to go back on again... cuz shit was getting scary.

I feel like I've let someone down here... like I've just given up. And I probably have. It would be characteristic... considering I'm a young American from an upper-middle class family.... like oh, ther'es more fun and profit this way... I don't know... I don't know. I'm just too fucked up right now
jane i'm off my zoloft and now once the goddamn motherfuckin side effects wear off i gotta start something else
i hate it man
daxle I understand the dilemma. It provides a sort of solution, but the side effects always make you wonder whether it's really best to take it or not take it. As someone who has experienced depression for as long as they can remember, I know that it's not a matter of readjusting my attitude. There is no easy answer. Right now I am trying an herbal route, and I guess I'll see how that goes. 020711
jane good luck with that. i started taking celexa a week ago, but it's funny because i haven't been depressed in a while; i'm taking these more for motivational purposes. but i was "clinically depressed" for over 4 years.. 020720
little wonder I'm starting to think I need it back. 020720
Arwyn my mother disowned me when I went on prozac. I guess she just saw it as she fucked up raising me. She told me that I was over-reacting and I have no reason to be medicated. She said that if any child of hers should be on medication it's my brother... because he wears black all the time... because of this, I went off of it, and two weeks later I landed my ass in the hospital... she said i was just trying to prove something... right... whatever 020721
for convenience i'm_back_on_my_prozac 020721
freakizh this phrase reminds me of daxle defending herself when called blather_bitch by incognitus *known* persons. 020722
daxle this phrase reminds me that psychologists aren't that helpful 020722
jane neither are anti-depressants 020803
kss I’m off my zoloft. I used to forget it a lot anyway, so finally I made the move to forget permanently. Now I get depressed, but it’s not that bad. The trade is that I feel more “in charge” than I did, and I’m also becoming more able to feel other emotions (sadness, joy, optimism) which were muted or inaccessible. I’m changing some things in my life (finding new friends, changing diet/exercise, therapy), and I want to let those things settle before I decided if my “typical” level of depression is tolerable. I want to have an ability to support myself, and have friends that can understand, talk, and help. It’s hard sometimes, because the buffer of medication was so reliable. I don’t think I’m much worse off – I just have to work a little harder. 021105
Eowithien I'm going on Prozac soon. My parents basically made me. There was really no way to get out of it. I hate them, but then again, so does every other teen that you meet (I *mean* every other, not every single one).

I'll miss myself while I'm gone. These last few words I will read everyday in hopes that it will remind me what I'm like when I'm gone:

I was once happy as the lost.
audio slave Whatever that means. I've been on it (prozac) for just about 4 years straight and it's 3 pills a day---but that's nothing, i know people who have to take 11 or so pills in the morning and more at night.

There is no way I'm going off this pharmaceutical, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, I hardly give a shit because it is no ones business.

You have to walk a mile in someone's shoes...
Eowithien Correction:

They decided on Celexa. Apparently it has less side effects and and doesn't give you violent nightmares. The nightmares are the only part I half cared about; in a way, I thought it might be interesting to have them. But I'm weak, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Or would I?

Like I care.
Piso Mojado turned out to be just quick fling with celexa. not another long-term relationship.

my depressions correspond 100% with my PMS. i don't need to be medicated if i know it will pass.
what's it to you?
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