anonymous:) that is all. 020726
unhinged it was like i had been trying to fake it or other things had so totally occupied my mind that i didn't have time to think of you anymore. i think that may be the best cure, but i've been seeing you in my mind a lot lately. my neurons still have the curves of your body memorized, and the way you smoke a cigarette, and the way you hunch forward and your shoulders shake slightly when you laugh. i remember competeing with myself to get you to laugh that way. i remember the clothes you were wearing that night when it was painfully obvious that i was your escape mechanism and not even your friend, but i was still competeing with myself to get you to laugh. i still remember too many little details; it's supposed to take me two years to get over you. i'm glad you decided to leave town. and everytime i listen to dashboard i think of you and i_am_sad_today; it's like the automatic frown button. "i'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit around and wonder how you're making out; as for me i wish that i was anywhere with anyone making out....you'd like to think that you were invincible once, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time, this is the last time...which of the bold faced lies will we use, i hope that you're happy, you really deserve it, this will be best for us both in the end....don't you see that the charade is over? and all the best deceptions and the clever cover story awards go to you so kiss me hard cause this will be the last time that i let you....i asked you not to go, i begged you, i pleaded, claimed you as my only hope and watched the floor as you retreated..." 020726
anonymous:) fuck. that was good.
Thank you.
unhinged welcome 020727
Freak I am sad today because I have realized what a pathetic little creature I have become. 020729
phil today 020729
Break_the_circle I hope you all find comfort somewhere...Most importantly within yourself. Seeking it outside will only cause you more sadness, because you only widen the circle which is your prison, though it is bigger, it is a circle and it is your prison. Break the circle, leap beyond and reach out, give of yourself and thence shall you find your freedom...I know its hard to do and so easy to say, but its true.... 031110
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