i_am_i_am_i_am mytwohands i hate the way the words look when i type them through my fingertips, always through my fingertips; a slash through each wrists, always through my fingertips. there's no uniformity (sure i like that, but what will the children think?) im suffocating under a pillow of hurt-- you'd think that'd be simple, wouldn't you? a simple pillow...a simple pillow. so i command you: put your face in a pillow-- stuff it in your pillow and really try to breathe. then you'll realize that a pillow of hurt is everything in the world. because it's so fucking deceptive, that's why. a pillow--how calming; how relaxing. so tempting to lie my tired head upon because im always tired, always tired, always tired. but it bites you in the ass, i swear it does. and you hear your heart beat, as you stuff your fat face against it's seductive surface surface, gasping for breath, searching for air... yet hoping to end its supply (instinct fights against will). sadly, your heart continues beating in its resounding applause, it screams at you-- with all the anger, and the joy and the suffering you've ever felt. I AM. I AM. I AM. thank you, sylvia, for bringing those words into my life. 050530 ... anne-girl I am. I am. I am. i love this... a statement of being, saying I am, I exist. I am. simplest verb... it's so reassuring, the opposite of nihilism/despair, solid like mountains, eternal {I am, thou art, he is, we are...} like God says in Exodus, a google search reveals, "I am that I am" I am! I am! I am! {deserves a chorus, symphony, or something} 050530 ... stork daddy amn't amn't amn't am am am amn't amn't amn't the twin alabasters a saint aspires to. to be eternal is to never have existed. to minimize by maximizing the amount of love given that you never asked for. 050531 ... mytwohands i like you, anne-girl. you said everything right. 050531 ... Lemon_Soda I am, to. How sweet the sound... 050531 what's it to you? who go blather from