i_am_creating squint I created a new blathe, which you are now reading. I am on somebody elses screen. i am real. you are real. You see me. I dont see you but I know you will read this. I have communicated I have created I have expressed. poor audience... 020709 ... not squint blink oh but jamie, you're not real. you're nothing at all. 020709 ... squint no such thing! I AM EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! 020709 ... not squint blink you can't be EVERYTHING, you're not even real. not even a little. 020709 ... squint get out of my life get away from anyone i consider a friend just leave completely please dillon 020709 ... not squint blink i am so sorry. i don't know why i did this. you'll never truely know how sorry i am. i don't know who dillon is. 020709 ... squint i dont think dillon would spell truly like that. but he does some pretty dumb things. mr.Angel, is it? 020709 ... squint no seriously you, you guys, you, are messing with my head. you write this here and suddenly dillon is telling me I'm not real out of the blue, and i just wish dillon would stop randomly talking to me when we loathe eachother so much (it seems)...and then it sounds likehe posted this blather thing...and it doesnt make sense but it kinda does...and now you sound like Michael or maybe not and I'm sick of being confused. 020709 ... not squint blink i don't like mondays. 020709 ... squint why not? i thought you weren't supposed to be on the computer, young man... 020709 ... not blinkety squat I am jaime's trillionth personality that's right kids, dissasociative disorder 020709 ... squint It's Jamie, the masculine and Im not talking to my self. imnotimnotimnotimnotimnotimnotimnotimnoyimnot and I know its you. Why are you doing this? Why? 020709 ... squint masculine SPELLING! meh. 020709 ... squint! no wait Im the real squint, bitch, knock it off you imitation vanilla extract ho! who is my brain and where are you going with it? i mean... knock it off you fake vegan cheese made from those unholy veggies and put in an old ladies frreezer, stop right there! who are you? are you the one with the slinky slithery voice or are you just dillon being a dumbass? 020709 ... squint DONT SAY MEH. thats MINE. 020709 ... squint NO!!!! its neither!!! its that fucking asshole I waste too much time on, isnt it? why dont you care about me sometime, maybe you wouldnt feel so guilty and your stomach wouldn't always knot up and you would have better goodbye speeches than "nice to know you" 020709 ... not squint blink are you happy now? I created something. would you just kill me now and get over with it? i'm tired of waiting. end me while i still deseve it. 020709 ... squint well which are you? skooshy nicknamed superboy wouldn't give up like that, although its in his nature to sound defeated at the ring of my hasty irritation... so who are you who is not me? 020709 ... not squint blink what does it mater who I am? I DON'T EXIST!! i AM the pot calling the kettle stupid. you wanna know who i am, make something up/ 020709 ... squint you are not my finger prints how do i go about killing you? it makes a big difference who you are because maybe i WANT to spare you or I WANT to kill you or maybe I just dont care and even I don't know it. quit feeling sorry for yourself red licorice, pepsi one. margarine. 020709 ... squint i am creating my own reasons to leave so that I can have reasons that i couldn't possibly make on my own to explode. that is what i am creating and i am creating a worship of you, well, no longer, but I WAS and i still do want you -oh-this isn't about dillon in case u are the asshole doing this somehow but now I am uncreating I wish it was like a friendship bracelet and if I FUCK up, I could untie it to the point it started going wrong, and just redo things from there, but you wont let me back up into my words or actions or my age and I could never get to that blissful spot where anything was possible and we weren't sure if we had found the_one and now you know and I pretend that there is still hope somedays... but it makes it rain makes it pour more than a less than perfect hope would... 020709 ... good people i think i just found the most confusing blathe to follow 020709 ... squint not if you're one of the blatherers playing the game. at least i know what i didn't write. but whoever this other fellow is... they know all, the fucker. 020709 ... not squint blink the word empty bottomless and it falls through my poems burning letters caustic rivalry with sorrow. my arms stay smooth for nobody in particular and my legs always shaved but never bare i hide all the nothing in long pants and socks soaked with ruthless pursuit endless you forgiven chasing wreckless chastising the word empty means everything to all the nothing in me. -------- hate me. despise me. and i'll go away 020710 ... squint honey_angel_thing, i don't want you to go away. do you want to leave me? I will do what must be done. I knwo you hate this response because I just got one jussssst like it from josh when I tried to cut it off. you're my new one you know, the new boy to think about... BUT if I cause you so much pain, which maybe I do, then tell me then i'll disappear... without trying to sound all cliche.. (i beleive that was really really close to exactly what josh said to me. there is a pattern in all things isnt that so greatly contradicting?).... so tell me now or forever hold your peace. dumby head! there are faces in my head none of which could be reality... 020710 what's it to you? who go blather from