how_to_argue rhin or not. help. how do you argue/reason/debate with someone who clearly disregards and/or doesn't understand the standard rules of engagement? i find myself sitting with my mouth wide open, unable to stutter even a single syllable. words crawl out of his mouth that have absolutely no relevance to anything even remotely close to...anything. what could be worse than that? if i don't respond in length to what was just presented, then he's pissed off. what could be worse than that? he's an intelligent guy, and i normally relish conversations with him. when he's upset his brain just seems to malfunction. he also has a bad habit of bringing up the past, which absolutely pisses me off. he loves to say "okay fine i'm wrong, you're always right". i never see it as right or wrong, just difference in opinion, and i believe that it is agreeable to disagree. i cannot compromise on something that i believe in. he said "rhin, clearly again you don't understand. i forget that you are so literal and sometimes i have to spell things out for you". to which i say through clinched teeth "i understand you perfectly teacher, maybe i just don't like what you fucking say". i'm usually calm and rational and try to avoid 'you' statements so as not to escalate the conversation into the battle category, until he tells me i don't understand. at that point i burn my rules of engagement and put the gloves on. damn i can't take this anymore. we are both so stubborn and fiercely independent. normal conversations can become wicked in a matter of seconds. i'm not always right. i will freely admit all of my faults. i'm sure he's saying the same things to his friends now. having said that, what the hell do we do? why do we both so easily attack each other? are we wrong for each other, or are we just not trying hard enough? 060521 ... LS See I_like_your_hair 060521 ... LS sorry, I meant. I_love_your_hair 060521 ... superleni i think: some people just can't be argued with. to argue requires that your oponent adheres to logical thought progression ... that you both work on the same board with the same pieces. but some people throw up irrelevant stuff - and it's frustratingly impossible to prove anything - because they keep changing the argument. you just can't argue with them. there will never be the satisfaction of convincing them you are right, or even having them get your point of view, because they refuse to follow your logic. so they win. sort of. but not really. 060522 ... shakey My boyfriend is the worst person to argue with. He is very intelligent and so if something goes wrong he can remember every single detail of the whole situation and everything leading up to it. Its very frustrating. And he is very stubborn. Even when he makes me cry and I'm sitting there bawling he doesn't comfort me. He just stares and I feel like I want the walls to close in on me. He seems to bring up every wrong thing I've ever done and everything he hates about me and so I sit there miserable feeling like dirt. Then all I want is for him to hug me or show some affection so that I don't feel like I wanna rip my hair out. He sometimes threatens to break up with me and I can't handle it. I start crying even more and I ask him why? I know it would be extremely hard for me at first but maybe it would be for the best. I can't take these fights and his stubbornness. He wants to argue about things that I think are fine and so to me its all just meaningless. I have to go through so much emotional crap and I can't take it anymore! Its so hard on me. I love him so much though so I don't know what to do. Why are guys such idiots? I wish they weren't so insensitive and proud. He is very possesive of me I've realized and he doesn't really like me to be close to anyone else. Its terrible. I don't know what to do. Things have been so much harder lately than ever. Hes not a bad guy but he is just so difficult! I hope things just go back to normal soon. 060522 ... Lemon_Soda DOn't cling to misery. Break up with him. 060522 ... superleni why are you going out with him? he sounds awful. 060522 ... rhin superleni & LS, thank you both so much :) 060523 ... rhin another arguement just now. although he claims it's not. at this moment in time i'm over-whelmed with rage and hatred. my entire body is shaking. i want to hit something. i'm so pissed off that i can't even think rationally. how can i allow someone to provoke such negativity in me? i'm ignoring his calls. omg! he's now ranting on my answering machine because i won't pick up the phone. now he's trying to coerce me into answering the phone by claiming he just needs to ask me a question. how lame. he just wants another round. writing about it isn't helping. i'm still shaking. i can't get ahold of Brad to blow steam off. i need to talk to someone who will fucking listen, take my side and say 'fuck him' with me. 060809 ... rhin stop calling meeeeeeee ! you've fucking filled up my answering machine in less than 10 minutes! he's psychotic. where do i find them? i love this. now i can't stop laughing. 060809 ... ebbnflow don't fuck him. don't pick up the phone. don't speak to him at all. move on. indifference (or, if need be, feigned indifference) is good revenge and excellent medicine. meanwhile, figure out what you learned through this. then thank god, the universe, yourself, whoever for whatever it is you learned. 060809 what's it to you? who go blather from