how_do_you_feel call_me_lydea hi there how are you? HOw do you feel. Sad or happy. right or left. Back or forth. Alive or dead. 020921 ... squint sleepy missing everyone missing everything (nostalgic) 020921 ... Aimee used underpaid unneeded exhausted de-fucking-pressed 020921 ... narpf edith blank as a fart 020921 ... pralines&cream not *completely* satisfied ... perhaps a little empty, even ... but happy and excited and [for shame] entranced 020922 ... possessed angel under exposed and over developed 020922 ... paste! numb, nauseous, saturated with graphite_salsa 020922 ... krimilda dazed and confused... somehow old, somehow new, somehow blue 020922 ... distorted tendencies I feel torn apart. I hate feeling my true emotions, especially when it's about a boy. 020922 ... *nat* he makes me feel like its raining outside, and when the storms gone im all torn up inside. I no posting lyrics is lame, but its so appropriate. Basially, i cant survive without u, even if it is only a thought, or i have to pretend that you are there, as long as i no your are always there for me in the flesh when i need you. Im talking crap arent i ? 020923 ... Syrope like im not supposed to be here, doing this, thinking this 020923 ... ~gez~ makes sense to me, and makes me feel great. (if you were talking about me) if not i do not know, and there is no need to inform me. please do not, because with the exlusion of everything not excluding you life is not the opposite of not crap 020924 ... distorted tendencies My head hurts and my stomach is all in a twist. I need a cigarette and my mom just yelled at me for smoking. 020924 ... devalis my_new_leaf 020924 ... Toxic_Kisses In no particular order stressed depressed scared frustrated overwhelmed sad useless x10 030915 ... Freak feels like crap I second that, TK 030915 ... TK Venerable and selfish for feeling all theese things 030915 ... imposter Lonely and wanting to hold you. 030915 ... Constance Cold. Distant. Impatient. I want him but I'm sick of not having him next to me. He's too far away and I am getting angry and frustrated. 040223 ... white_wave like i should be doing something else but i don't want to. in other words, very, very bad. 040224 ... pipedream white_wave, you again...i promise i'm not stalking you :) i feel very zen. peaceful and relaxed, after a very very long time. the staticky shrieks and grumbles and buzzes inside my head are silent and every muscle is languidly happy. being close to nature, being soaked in sunshine is doing wonders for my soul. 040224 ... mathieu Useless question. What would you do if I said "bad" ? 040412 ... somebody Not quite myself. Some how my reactions seem delayed and ingenuine I feel like a mannequin, I feel happy but my smile looks fake. Perhaps I'll feel more real tomorrow. 040603 ... Zantic faded sinking worn 040603 ... z with enthusiasm 040603 ... Connecting..the.dots.. Regretful Agitated Grumpy irritated Don't talk to me; I'm likely to bite your head off. and now fustrated bc of How_do_feel maybe I should just go back to bed and not wake up for the rest of the day 040615 ... love & hate i feel ill. Physically, emotionally and metally ill. It is draining me completely, there will soon be nothing left. I feel empty, i feel lonely, i feel lost. Everything is too much, EVERYTHING. Breathing is too difficult, speaking is too difficult. Remembering to wake up every morning, reminding myself to fall asleep each night. Everything is distroyed now that she left me, that she left me on my own, by myself. Someone who cant be byherself, i need her, i need Katie. She is the one i cant live without and my heart is getting shreaded to little pieces which can fall through the palms of your hands with ease. Dangerous black shreds of heart which used to beat so strong, so vibrantly, now there is nothing, nothing but emptiness. Complete dark, infested emptiness. Whats hidden in the shadows of my mind will not be known to this world as this world cannot handle what i now i have to give to it. As it has fucked up my life, i must give it back something in return, something worthy of itself. Once the shadow grows stronger and darker than it already is. 040615 ... TK !~Happy~! He called Yes I know how pathetic that is, my life should not revolve around him, bad habit I suppose, but we spoke for nearly 40 mins, it was from a pay phone, it was civilized, we're both confused as to where we stand w/ one another who we are to one another now, w/ relatives its so easy - she's my aunt and your my nephew and hay look my 3rd cousins over their! What do I want? I think that’s the biggest question, and is it worth the price or cause and effect to get what I want, that is once I decide on what that is, I have two options but so many outcomes -- but he called ^.^ and it made me happy! 040809 ... shivers left behind. he called, to say that as soon as he comes home he'll be moving away. we have one last week together. i've already cried for the last two days. i dont know whats going to happen. i feel sad. and scared. and sick. 040809 ... TK Better I forced myself to write down the things I love/like about him, in the beginning it was really hard bc I felt so angry and upset but by time I got to #25 I was feeling better, sometimes hurt anger and dustration consumes and engulf me so compleatly that I dont have room to feel anything elce, but right now more then anything I wish I could see him again to tell him how much I'm missing him and how he's the first person I think of when I awaken and the last person I think of befor going to sleep, I see him more offten in my dreams then I get to in real life right now, I love him and it upsets me to know we ended our last visit on such a negative note *Sad sigh* 040817 ... typo Frustration Completely Else often before 040817 ... pete sleepy, brain slightly mushified 040817 ... TK board I'm off to add to my never ending book wish list. 040817 ... TK Tired I should sleep But that doesn’t mean I will I'll probably rome about blather a few hours longer (you know for my health) 040826 ... kookaburra like my eyes are about to fall out... owowowow 040826 ... pete hung over and tired... stupid stupid pete... chef just called and said 'have a good weekend'.. do i have tonight off? if so, i just want to sleep 040827 ... mourninglight pick a star for me, and throw it into the canal watch it sink, and leave its stardust trail through the darkly deep then sleep..and deeply dream of dancing starlets, and of silver and cloudless skies 040827 ... Syrope the more things change the more they stay_the_same 040827 ... sad emptiness in a way that I haven't felt in so long. knowing that even being here in this space that would make me so happy, now doesn't. the void isn't going away. i don't like to be so sad, and i wish the feeling would pass. 040827 ... TK happy! He called tonight ^.^ Whoot! 040827 ... pete very tired, on the post work adrenaline kick that comes with biking the 10 kilometres home as fast as i can 040827 ... suicidalchinadoll like someone beat me with a baseball bat before I fell asleep last night, but free free of your *stare* because I know now that there isn't enough wrong with me for it to do any real harm. 040828 ... TK Paranoid Angry and no I dont want to talk about it. 040902 ... TK being offtopic and rambling A tired sort of dreamy happiness *yawns* I should sleep But what I should do and what I will do are two different things Do you think maybe we count sheep bc All you have to do is replace one letter to get eather word? sLeep sHeep After all I've never heard of others counting bunnies or kangaroos or other things that hop 040905 ... TK hungry horny sleepy I'm not awake enough to get past pure feeling, thinking is out of the question, and I’m not awake enough to even register the solidness of reality yet *yawns* I think I may possibly just go back to sleep, I'm of no use to any one (even myself) when I'm like this 040907 ... sahba down again and again and again man people really can bring you down 040907 ... TK num num every thing num like static snow on TV so compleatly and totally num I hope sleep will cure this 040910 ... pete you dont get a star, and i wouldn't sink it in the rideau, canal that is, i might sink it in the river where i once swam. i want to hear her voice say 'i'm sorry that my goodbye was short' as her email said, and i want to say back 'it wasn't short; it was nonexistant' though i dont want it to be an attack so much as a realization. maybe i should go to bed, but .. well.. no buts 040911 ... once again Like orange juice, Bugles, and Flowers for Algernon, like the ending of autumn in New York, and like laughter. I feel like long days at the bank and short mornings between the sheets. I feel empty of you and too full of me. I feel like grape juice and buttered bread. Smashed juice boxes and peanut butter and jelly with chips in it. This is how I feel and I don't know waht to do about it anymore. 040911 ... f tired 040911 ... TK to angry to read or make sence of anything 040912 ... TK angry yet again every thing has gone wrong so far today no I wont give you the landry list, mainly bc I know you really just dont care, and really why should you? Any how it's just better if you stayed out of my way today as I'm likely to bitch you out, even if only over something small and trivial 040921 ... f he looks at me so intesely and I look back, it makes me feel so emotional . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... .. ... ... . . . . . . ..................... ..... .. ... . . . ..... .. .. ... . . . ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................that they are not you. 041004 ... jane you asshole 041004 ... tyler waters yea what a jerk 041028 ... smiley :) who are you calling an arsehole/jerk? 041102 ... *Amy* under preasure, blocked 050417 ... Great. Thanks. 081124 ... caresscoffee in love and lonely 081124 ... In_Bloom Connected Re directed Disconnected Connected Tuning Reaching Touching Comforting Resigned 081124 ... Toxic_Kisses Incredibly sad but kind of happy too Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye I know I'm doing the right thing and I stand by it but I think I need some space right now 140711 ... paste! Like a decapitated brick wrestling a shadow in a murky puddle 140712 ... unhinged hopeless stressed frustrated 140712 ... Toxic_Kisses Drained so absolutely drained and as such Negative Not that I have to worry about any one bothering me here in Blather, but I feel the need to be wearing a shirt that says something along the lines of "BEWARE: Is Known To BITE" Seriously feel like bitching out the next person who even so much as acknowledges my mere existence, not bc anyone deserves that kind of treatment but bc I could really use the release right now. So basically my mood is: FUCK OFF!!! 140808 ... flowerock I feel tired, exhausted. under hydrated. slight tummy upset. nervous (about public transportation, so complicated). good about what I got done today. glad I ran. glad goa got to run and chase gophers. glad I got chocolate. enjoying this rooibos tea and live jazz. 140808 ... unhinged clawing 140809 what's it to you? who go blather from