he's_not_the_one
paranoid martyr i mean, i met him this saturday and we chatted our lives out, made jokes that nobody understand, and had pretty much the same likes. i actually met him because he played a radiohead song.

and i before all this -because today i found out that this guy is in a class with me,-, before all this i thought that i could hang along with anyone who could make jokes about romanek's videos. hang along with anyone who could burn me the nin's downward spiral even if it was not my birthday, and still have the ability to break down and be corny. hang along with anyone who payed me attention, or looked at me in a different way, without any prejudice or awareness of all my faults like sometimes my friends do without any intention to hurt.

i am smoldering. because of that and some other combinatory of issues. i think i have lost too much in this year. actually, when i think about how i was leaving a year ago, i really thought i didn't had anything to lose.

i suppose i wasn't aware of what was coming at all.

so, i barely talked again in the class with this guy. i was sitting on the front, and he was at the last row. he looked at me confuse, kinda dissapointed because i pre-dumped him for no reason.

i'm worried.
i dunno if he knows he's not the one.
and i'm not sure if 'the one' for me even exists.
030811
...
paranoid martyr spellchecking there's a LEAVING there that is actually a LIVING.

:(
i think phonetically, i suppose.
030811
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