friendship boingdy boing! denial is an even bigger country than I previously imagined. we think it can be back to the way it was... we tell each other this over and over again. as you go away, I know this is not the case. you aren't mine anymore. you never were. you will always be hers, though. 000314 ... Midnight Bliss what does the word mean? does it mean that you'll be there for one another? does it mean that you'll be honest to one another, pay attention to one another? although that's what it means, it's not always how your "friends" act. friends are supposed to be there for each other, and they are supposed to be honest with each other, but sometimes, you just convince each other you're friends and you really aren't. be honest and don't stray ppl along. 000320 ... dean-bean *honk* the friendship is now boarding. Get on or get off. 000330 ... girl friendship is seriously risky business. i had friends all through school and every time something goes bad. i had friends in college and that went bad too. i think it is much better to have aquaintences and alies. keep the emotion level down and dont confide personal info. i think this is a good method to follow because i still have people to hang out with and people i can go to for help but if it goes bad it wont hurt anyone. 000403 ... birdmad "Once i had a good friend/ I knew him for quite a while/ He seemed alright to me/ Then he was gone He took my money and time And then he went away/ Taking all that was mine/ and leaving me far behind. Oh Well/ Things crumble to an end/ Hell, we all die in the end (die in the end) (die in the end) Once i had a girlfriend I knew her for quite a while She seemed alright to me And then she was gone She took my lovin' and time And then she ran away Taking all that was mine And leaving me far behind (leaving me far behind) Oh, Well! Things crumble to an end Hell, we all die in the end (die in the end Die in the end Die in the end...)" copyright 1983, biafra/flouride/peligro dead kennedys/alternative tentacles quite obviously without permission 000421 ... Rainer them keep telling me I'm missing so much but I don't believe them, never I do. 001024 ... cazzi friendship is the best gift someone can give you...even though it's not really a gift. it's just there. 001230 ... birdmad call me morbid or absurd but for me coming from you friend_is_a_four_letter_word 001231 ... silentbob that huge boat thats sinking and burning in the gigantic sea of forgotten memories 010101 ... SCOTT I have discovered that friendship is a lie as is truth and hope and yes my friends dreams are lies as well if not- they die like a silent fog frozen in a crystal snofall 010122 ... chanaka "we're just friends" she points out yeah right what kind of friendship is this..... 010122 ... snow_angel Dana, andi, Amber, amanda, amanda stephanie, chelsea, trisha, ashley, NICOLE...and Bridgette. Probably the best friends a girl could ask for. No matter what theyre always there and we have our down tymes but I know that they are true sweethearts. They have taught me so much about myself and what i can do to effect people. I have had the most amazing memories with these girls and I hope thatI will continue to keep on forming memories. 010605 ... Dafremen MAN do I wanna know what book all of THOSE names came from. Sound's like the Days of Our Lives Complete Book of Baby Names. 010605 ... Dafremen see also: My_Name_Is 010605 ... Dafremen Make that: My_First_Name_Is 010605 ... nocturnal at work HAHA! you screwed up, too. 010605 ... Dafremen Hey, a gentleman never let's a lady f*ck up alone. 010605 ... nocturnal at work much appreciated. 010605 ... holly i love my friends glenna the most she is the best then comes john he is my honey i couldn't live without either of them 011009 ... Moondance We're friends, although we shouldn't be. He calls me his soulmate. But I'm not sure. Isn't that just someone he'd like to fuck, but can't because he's married? 011107 ... data My neural pathways have become accustomed to your sensory input patterns. 020106 ... Photophobe end is the part of the word that I heard call me morbid or absurd 020106 ... kerry ... is important 020106 ... stacey i have probubly the best friendship in the world until i screwed everything up!..I cant believe i said that..im sorry amy I luv u forever your my best friend! i hope u and tyler get back together soon 020524 ... stacey "when i find myself fading, i close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.' "the road to a friends house is never long. "friends are treasures." "an insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast;a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." "the only way to have a friend is to be one." "he who as a thousands friends, has not a friend to spare, he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere." "a friend is one who loves you and knows you just the same." "be courtious to all, but intimate with few. be well tried before you give them your confidence. true friendship is a plant of slow grow, and must undergo and withstand the shoks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." "true friend stab you in the front." 020528 ... Ariadani yeah, and i thought that friends talked to each other. i guess i was wrong. *sigh* so much for friends. 020528 ... Insat True friends are hard to find. Better having one true friend than lots of aquaintances. 030217 ... kyle2 I HATE friends... i can't ever find one who i can call my best friend... i had one, but now she never talks to me anymore, i had another but now he hates me and i don't know why, one day he punched me in the face, after all i did for him. Now i like this girl, she just wants to be friends... FUCK THAT, i have never liked anyone as much as i liked her. She later tells me that she likes my friend and wants me to hook them up i mean FUCK!!! i have very strong feelings for her and she walks all over me. The sad part is, i still love her. I can't live without her. I'd rather be friends than not ever met her because i will always love her. TARA IF U EVER READ THIS I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER... i'm so sorry... i'm so depressed... i'm so pathetic 030619 ... Spare Change When you fall in love with friends your heart is on a plate, when you know they can't love you the same. when you understand their soul, but they won't let you in their head. When they lock you out of their heart, but allow you in their bed. Remember your friendship. Be what you always were, just be this as well. 030915 ... once again It's not a promise you make with your head, not one that can be broken with the passing of time. It's a promise you make with your soul, without ever meaning to, one that cannot be broken. 031010 ... pipedream either i have faith, or i'm just stupid. 031011 ... Dafremen Faith is stupidity to those who don't have any. 031011 ... pipedream you think? that kept my faith floating today, that thought. 031012 ... ferret is the SINGLE most important thing in life 031012 ... Sam Vaknin What are friends for and how can a friendship be tested? By behaving altruistically, would be the most common answer and by sacrificing one's interests in favour of one's friends. Friendship implies the converse of egoism, both psychologically and ethically. But then we say that the dog is "man's best friend". After all, it is characterized by unconditional love, by unselfish behaviour, by sacrifice, when necessary. Isn't this the epitome of friendship? Apparently not. On the one hand, the dog's friendship seems to be unaffected by long term calculations of personal benefit. But that is not to say that it is not affected by calculations of a short-term nature. The owner, after all, looks after the dog and is the source of its subsistence and security. People – and dogs – have been known to have sacrificed their lives for less. The dog is selfish – it clings and protects what it regards to be its territory and its property (including – and especially so - the owner). Thus, the first condition, seemingly not satisfied by canine attachment is that it be reasonably unselfish. There are, however, more important conditions: For a real friendship to exist – at least one of the friends must be a conscious and intelligent entity, possessed of mental states. It can be an individual, or a collective of individuals, but in both cases this requirement will similarly apply. There must be a minimal level of identical mental states between the terms of the equation of friendship. A human being cannot be friends with a tree (at least not in the fullest sense of the word). The behaviour must not be deterministic, lest it be interpreted as instinct driven. A conscious choice must be involved. This is a very surprising conclusion: the more "reliable", the more "predictable" – the less appreciated. Someone who reacts identically to similar situations, without dedicating a first, let alone a second thought to it – his acts would be depreciated as "automatic responses". For a pattern of behaviour to be described as "friendship", these four conditions must be met: diminished egoism, conscious and intelligent agents, identical mental states (allowing for the communication of the friendship) and non-deterministic behaviour, the result of constant decision making. A friendship can be – and often is – tested in view of these criteria. There is a paradox underlying the very notion of testing a friendship. A real friend would never test his friend's commitment and allegiance. Anyone who puts his friend to a test (deliberately) would hardly qualify as a friend himself. But circumstances can put ALL the members of a friendship, all the individuals (two or more) in the "collective" to a test of friendship. Financial hardship encountered by someone would surely oblige his friends to assist him – even if he himself did not take the initiative and explicitly asked them to do so. It is life that tests the resilience and strength and depth of true friendships – not the friends themselves. In all the discussions of egoism versus altruism – confusion between self-interest and self-welfare prevails. A person may be urged on to act by his self-interest, which might be detrimental to his (long-term) self-welfare. Some behaviours and actions can satisfy short-term desires, urges, wishes (in short: self-interest) – and yet be self- destructive or otherwise adversely effect the individual's future welfare. (Psychological) Egoism should, therefore, be re-defined as the active pursuit of self- welfare, not of self-interest. Only when the person caters, in a balanced manner, to both his present (self-interest) and his future (self-welfare) interests – can we call him an egoist. Otherwise, if he caters only to his immediate self-interest, seeks to fulfil his desires and disregards the future costs of his behaviour – he is an animal, not an egoist. Joseph Butler separated the main (motivating) desire from the desire that is self- interest. The latter cannot exist without the former. A person is hungry and this is his desire. His self-interest is, therefore, to eat. But the hunger is directed at eating – not at fulfilling self-interests. Thus, hunger generates self-interest (to eat) but its object is eating. Self-interest is a second order desire that aims to satisfy first order desires (which can also motivate us directly). This subtle distinction can be applied to disinterested behaviours, acts, which seem to lack a clear self-interest or even a first order desire. Consider why do people contribute to humanitarian causes? There is no self-interest here, even if we account for the global picture (with every possible future event in the life of the contributor). No rich American is likely to find himself starving in Somalia, the target of one such humanitarian aid mission. But even here the Butler model can be validated. The first order desire of the donator is to avoid anxiety feelings generated by a cognitive dissonance. In the process of socialization we are all exposed to altruistic messages. They are internalized by us (some even to the extent of forming part of the almighty superego,