friends_left_behind
carden what to do with friends left behind while you are away at school and they are not...are they on the same ground as you, do they even fit in the same catagory they were before school since they're goals aren't the same? it's hard to know what to do... 010402
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blather spell check category 010402
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torus "friends" will disapear. Friends will not (unless provoked). Do nothing and the stream will flow by unaided. cling to nothing, and that which is precious will begin to orbit around you by its nature. 010928
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Sensuality They met in the spring of their junior year; he was the boyfriend of her best friend. They had class together, creative writing, and it seemed they had some things in common. They talked of nothing and of love and happiness and they became friends. They would sneak out of study hall to wander the halls together, going places they werenít supposed to be. He didnít agree with her notion that happiness was all in how you looked at life and she thought his doom and gloom attitude was ruining his life. They agreed on love though, the big thing, Love, with a capital L and they both wanted it more then anything else. Now if this was a movie or a book, they would fall in love, but this is real life folks, and real life rarely works out the way itís supposed to. Junior year passed slowly and they grew to know each other. He knew she was open and ďtoo honestĒ as he once told her and she knew that he really wasnít as sad as he let on and that underneath all his ranting he was a good guy. And for whatever reason, they understood each other. They werenít best friends; they didnít hang out with each other, they never saw each other outside of school. They were simply friends. To understand what Iím saying you have to know something about them. They didnít have many good friends and they were lonely. They accepted each other, their faults and stupidities, they didnít write them off and they didnít ignore them, they just took them in as part of the whole. And they became seniors. They had class together again, Social Studies and Science, right in a row. Two periods of uninterrupted friendship and they found they were still friends. They were something else as well however. Something neither of them had counted on. He wanted her. Her body, her voice, the way she moved her tongue over her teeth when she was thinking, he wanted to peel those clothes off of her beautiful body. But the year passed, with laughter and conversations. It faded into summer with late night ramblings when they told each other things. And he told her. And she let him. She let him kiss her and she kissed him back. They played with this new found fire secretly, as one pokes at fire with a stick and draws back when it flares to life, so were they. They were terrified and awed and they ran away only to return to the bright flame. They probed each others secrets and knew each others bodies and it was good, yet, it was not right. And so they parted ways, each knowing that they were no longer friends, they were something else. He dated one of her friends and they went away to college. They talked sometimes, but never with the easy familiarity of the friendship they had shared. They knew no regret, for how could they regret the passion they had shared, but they missed each other. Not as lovers, not even as friends, but with the indefinable sense of loss that comes from letting go of something you never really had. 030920
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unhinged distanced

and now i feel like i have none. i miss them all. and i wish i was still there with them but i had to move on. i hope they know i think about them all everyday.
030920
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jane saying_goodbye 030920
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Mahayana [id be content with none for the rest of my life]

instead i shall fashion acquaintances with the gravel, airstreams, and the lifeless monarch

[im content with no-one cuz noone has always been there]
030920
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