equanimity
. fourteen weeks of basic training
have clarified my understanding
of the meanings thus pertaining
090510
...
unhinged borders_of_compassion 140527
...
unhinged you tell me you want to die
silence envelops me


(i know that feeling; the howling heart, the unbearable pain, the need for cessation)



i cannot tell you
it will get better
cancer
prison
these things are the worst
this world has to offer

impermanence
is cold_comfort
in the face of that much suffering

when i look into the future
what i see for you
is just bleak
dank
dismal

when you tell me you want to die
silence envelops me


you never learned to cope
without drugs
a heroin_doll
without a playmate
immaturity
and instant gratification
MAKE IT GO AWAY

you can run
but_eventually
all_of_these_things
will catch up with you

you can
make_better_choices
you can learn to sit with the pain

or

you can
end it all


not my choice to make
and


the depressive part of me
can't help but agree
after all these years
and all the threats
the cycle, the wheel
of poverty, addiction, prison
that the end
for you
would at least bring


relief
171217
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from