sabbie we're at a casual going away party.
boring arsed fucking geek comes up to me and says "youre hot"
sab grunts, non comitally.
he continues, not hearing the waring signs, "no really, youre hot."
"mmmmm" says sab.
geeks fucktard of a girlfriend comes over. observes me crocheting. "she obviously doesnt take compliments well."
ah ha.
"and she obviously needs something to do with her hands. thats why she has bought her knitting along"
what is this? are you getting this shit from a cornflakes packet?
"do you hate me?" he asks.
"thats what she wants everybody to think" she says, smugly directing her running pseudo-psyche comentary to her boyfriend "thats why she has that hair, those peircings. shes trying to make everything think that shes angry." girlfriend nods sagely.
"and your eyes" he continues, "theyre really pretty"
"yah" says sab.
"you see?" says says our budding pscyciatrist, nodding again. "look at her. she wont look at you" [sab is watching her crocheting thinking ever tried to crochet black wool in the dark _without_ looking at it you dumb fucking empty headed, fortune cookie platitud spouting streetgash? jesus!] girlfriend carries on, oblivious to sab's own mental running commetary. "she is obviously very insecure in herself and thats why she cant take your comliments."
sab seeths. sab has been coping this shit all night from these two.
sab seeths further.
something breaks.
sab turns.
"no, you see i can take compliments from people that mean something to me. but i honestly dont give a fuck about your opinions. i dont care if you like my appearence. im beautiful. i know that. i dont need fucktards like you thinking that you are somehow jusitifing me but foisting your opinion on me. i dont care about you. i dont care what you think. i dont need you to tell me who i am, how i look. i like the way i look, i like who i am and your thoughts one way or the other doesnt affect me in the slightest. I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!!"

both stop.
both blink.
the boyfriend looks through bleery, whisky blured vision. "youre vain." he slurs.
the girlfriend says "thats not a very good attitude to hold"
sab smiles sweetly.
"wether you think it is a good attitude or not, it is the one i hold and i am happy with it."

both fall silent.

sab walks away, taking her obviously offensive crocheting with her.

for once, they dont follow.

sabbie thanks the fucking gods and goes for celebratory cheesecake.

still seething, hours later
sabbie im not even going to go into the arguements i had with him about how its my body and he cannot touch me without permission. and why do i have to have this conversation with him several times. i thought everyone knew the 'what part of NO are you having trouble with?' jesus! i have every right to go anywhere and not be touched by anyone i dont wanna be touched by. and the girlfriend brings out her little smug face and says 'you see? she doesnt want to let anyone in"
no. its not about that.
its about not having your drunken arsehole of a boyfriend pawing at me.

you have the right to your own opinion, i just dont want to have to hear it. but HOW DARE you try to somehow make it out like _im_ in the fucking wrong cos i shout at your boyfriend for continually laying his hands on me?

and i go to bed seething about angry i am that i feel helpless from not being able to stop people i dont want from touching me, for this is not an isolated insident.


burden people who think it's just theirs for the taking blow my mind. how disgusting. 020729
no reason boredom 020729
phil frives_de_nucking_muts 020729
littleidiot when people don't even fucking TRY to move out of the way when you're walking towards someone, and they're walking towards you...
what if nobody ever moved?
people's shoulders would be all sore.
DannyH I've got a steering wheel in my pants and it drives_me_fucking_nuts 021128
what's it to you?
who go