monadh i make myself sad, yes me, it's all my own fault
blather to me is not about spelling everything right, or making it appealing to others
big deal if i make a spelling mistake now and then,or i bore you all to bits if ya happen to click on something i blathed..
most times when i blather i am too exhausted to think, let alone think correctly
damn sometimes i just feel like all my blather really is a waste of space
go ahead and fill it with your own rantings why should i even participate if i just feel worthless
*cries and sits in the corner pouting
(yeah i know i'm a loser already okay
i think i am just having a bad blather
i really do love blather
i guess i'm just not cut out of the same metal as some
(what was that fit i just threw about anyway?)
sorry forget ya read dis
Only Me no, it doesn't matter
and you don't come here to please everyone else

i'm just pleasing myself
this isn't an exam
and if it were...
big deal
nobody will give you anything out of it

so i get what i can squeeze from it
unhinged they are just the self_indulgent words
of a child
you cannot erase what i have written
for better or worse
you cannot erase what our lives have written
mutually exclusive of each other
except for a second
or hours that flashed by in a second
and i cherish the sentiment
but i have heard several times
that i will find someone
just not that one that speaks
that i deserve so much better than what they could give me
because they place me on a pedestal
made of words
not knowing that i only wanted
what they could give
and nothing more
i haven't asked for a hero
but i only can find self-proclaimed assholes
on valiant steeds
ready to cry at changes they can't make or help
and my walls have grown thick
which i did not realize
until recently
that as scared as i always was
i was open
but now i am shut
and it is only self_preservation
that makes him scared to speak
and it is only self_preservation
that holds me silent
because my heart is frozen
and that is why i am alone
when the words should find me
they never do
and i hold silent
silence has always been
the first step to heartache for me
but love is hurt
a few moments of smile
for a forever of hurt
and that is something that no one can change
and the moments can be worth the risk
if every moment after
wasn't only self_indulgent whining
no one can fix what has been undone
and i dream of broken legs
and know that now is not the time
i am still broken
that will take years to mend
that i shouldn't subject you to
don't bother reading me
words that create a false ideal
i am much less lofty
than you place me on
and i feel that i could never live up to
the pedestal i have made for myself here
if i could erase it all
i would spare you the time and pieces of you
it has taken from you
but we cannot erase what we have written
mutually exclusive of each other
words nothing more
than the meaning we read into them
with comprehension a matter
of individual choice
Doar . 040316
nom meta? or what 060104
nom meta? or what 060104
meta meta 060104
what's it to you?
who go