somniac i wish i wish i wish i wish

do you hate me?

noir ou blanc?
somniac no response is clearly a yes 060910
LS Think in negative terms and you'll get a negative result.

Stop projecting your insecurities on other people. It breeds resentment.
Soma I want to be strong.
I want to be able to tell you

I do not hate you...
i just avoid you,
because you made me feel in ways that scare me, in ways that make everything beautiful.

oh, if only it were so simple as me_hating_you.
misstree i'm beginning to think that i really did lose a brother.

but it was no one's fault, and we did what we could for eachother. i just need to know that you're okay. it shouldn't end this way. our tribe is stronger than that.
stork daddy who here hates me? besides me i mean. 060922
leni i hated you for a day 060926
Lemon_Soda I've often wanted to stand up at my computer and punch the screen repeatedly yelling, " I KNOW I"M WORNG YOU DAMN STORK!"

But you've also had me laughing my ass off and quietly contemplating facets of the gem I've never seen before so...


Can't say hate.
LS Just to clarify, I don't hate you, I'm muddled by you. And sometimes I like the color of the puddle when your done. 060926
icy that's beautiful, lemon_soda, and it fits him too.
stork daddy we learn much when we ask a question unafraid of the answer. i don't know if i'm capable of hate these days. and leni...i loved you for a day. how odd. and lemon soda...i don't remember you or anyone ever being wrong. ever. thanks for taking the time though. it does a heart good to know it is known. 060927
leni only a day!? ripped off. 060927
stork daddy it was a very eternal day leni. a very very eternal day. 060928
superleni storky, you charmer. i think it was actually an Impersonator whose brittle skull i wished to crush :) 061003
blown cherry some wounds take time to heal

and sometimes they're best left undisturbed 'til then, when you can forget they ever happened
stork daddy charm, in its normal useage, seems a way to denote a pleasant ambiguity between sincerity and unsincerity. that said - love!

and yes. don't mess with the wounds.
crayola this person gets on the bathurst streetcar @ queen really wasted, and i mean really wasted.
he walks to the back doors and stands there - this is friday night and the thing is packed. all of a sudden, due to snowy conditions the streetcar brakes suddenly and someone falls in front of the drunk guy.
-"what the fuck! what the fuck are you doing?" the drunk guy says.
the response comes from the front, from the driver, "quiet down back there or get off!"
-"quiet i said!"

before you know it, the driver is back there on the drunk's face.
-"see you later pal"
-"see you later, i warned you, get off the car."
-"you're fucking crazy, you don't know how to drive man."
-"you're swearing and you need to get off!"
-"oh yeah?"
-"fuck off!"
-"get off or i'm gonna throw you off"
-"oh yeah? you're a tough guy eh?"
-"you didn't pay a fair"
-"i didn't even pay a fair?! - fuck you, i paid $30.00!!"
-"not too me you didn't!"
-"fuck you i paid a fair!"

at this point, the drunk guy is becoming agitated and he drops is little beer store black bag, his beer cans fall to the floor and roll on the plastic gray floor.

-"look what you made me do man, you're an asshole - you asshole!"
-"get off!"
-fuck off you asshole! - i just want to go to the station man, go to the station."
-"you started it, swearing to people and at me."
-"just go, drive to station."

the ttc driver just looks at the drunk guy, shakes his head and turns back to his site - the streetcar continues to bathurst.

2 minutes later, the drunk guy again:

-"oh my god! oh my god! we have a crazy driver here. ttc (toronto transit commission) lcbo (liquor control board of ontario) - send somebody here."

-"oh my god oh my god!! ttc, lcbo this driver is drunk!"

by this time we're at the station, people are laughing behind me, im laughing - i can't contain it. the firl in front me seemed kind of scared and she asked me to be quiet - indicating that she didn't want the drunk dude to notice our mirth. i figured that he must have been having a good time himself.

as the passengers get off the car, the drunk man stands aside, not getting off himself, he asks every person that passes by him if they hate him.

no one answers and the crowds disappear underground.

the ending made the whole situation somewhat a bittersweet experience for me but it made my 1.5 hr trek home in toronto snow and traffic more bearable.
µ tragically hilarious. 080303
Lemon_Soda Thats how I would take it. 080303
Lemon_Soda That is the question...

I never hear from you and I don't want to piss you off more if your mad, so I don't try to communicate.

I don't hate YOU...and I hpe the lack of that feeling is mutual.

To be honest, I still miss you, and I wish we talked on the phone every once in awhile. Its not like I think you owe me, or something...I just miss you.
what's it to you?
who go