twiz who am i, where am i, what is going on. 080707
suppose suppose suppose Out of body, out of mind.
Very stale and dry. A fork in the eye wouldn't do the trick. The hand that performs the act wouldn't know what it's doing. Sudden sick feelings, watching and being disgusted by myself. Sudden panic. Skins too tight, arm off leg off head off. Imminent psychosis. THERE CAN BE NO OTHER EXPLANATION, it tells you. All that can be thought. The only conclusion that can be reached when mind is inches from body and soul is inches from mind. The uncertainty that anything exists is terrifying. The feeling tells you things are detached and one can't help but question the existence of that which is detached, of what it is detached from. It tells you this could be a dream and one questions the existence of dreams, the difference between dreams and reality. The idea that ones brain could be oozing in a Petri dish while someone forces synapses seems completely plausible with this feeling.

The insanity seems so imminent, but it never comes. So I'm left wondering alone, too afraid to leave it alone.
unhinged american_fascists are full of monstrous_hypocrisy

'in rallies like those in johnson's ohio tour, friends, neighbors, colleagues and family members who do not conform to the ideology are gradually dehumanized. they are tainted with the despised characteristics inherent in the godless. this attack is waged in highly abstract terms, to negate the reality of concrete, specific and unique human characteristics, to deny the possibility of goodness in those who do no conform. some human beings, the message goes, are no longer human beings. they are types. this new exclusive community fosters rigidity, conformity and intolerance. in this new binary world segments of the human race are disqualified from moral and ethical consideration. and because fundamentalist followers live in a binary universe, they are incapable of seeing others as anything more than inverted reflections of themselves. if they seek to destroy nonbelievers to create a christian america, then nonbelievers must be seeking to destroy them. this belief system negates the possibility of the ethical life. it fails to grasp that goodness must be sought outside the self and that the best defense against evil is to seek it within. when people come believe that they are immune from evil, that there is no resemblance between themselves and those they define as the enemy, they will inevitable grow to embody the evil they claim to fight. it is only by grasping our own capacity for evil, our own darkness, that we hold our own capacity for evil at bay. when evil is always eternal, than moral purification always entails the eradication of others.

this rhetoric of depersonalization creates a fighting moral fragmentation, an ability to act with compassion and justice toward those within the closed, christian circle yet allow others outside the circle to be abused, silenced and stripped of their rights. and the passivity of many in america who do not acknowledge the danger of this rhetoric, and the moral fragmentation it inspires, lends itself to the pleasant fiction that these radicals are fundamentally decent, that they do not mean what they say, that they will never actually persecute homosexuals or nonbelievers or execute abortion providers. such passivity only accelerates the probability of evil. extremists never begin as extremists. they become extremists gradually. they move gingerly forward in an open society. they advance only so far as they fail to meet resistance. and no society is immune from this moral catastrophe.' - chris hedges
what's it to you?
who go