depersonalization
twiz who am i, where am i, what is going on. 080707
...
suppose suppose suppose Out of body, out of mind.
Very stale and dry. A fork in the eye wouldn't do the trick. The hand that performs the act wouldn't know what it's doing. Sudden sick feelings, watching and being disgusted by myself. Sudden panic. Skins too tight, arm off leg off head off. Imminent psychosis. THERE CAN BE NO OTHER EXPLANATION, it tells you. All that can be thought. The only conclusion that can be reached when mind is inches from body and soul is inches from mind. The uncertainty that anything exists is terrifying. The feeling tells you things are detached and one can't help but question the existence of that which is detached, of what it is detached from. It tells you this could be a dream and one questions the existence of dreams, the difference between dreams and reality. The idea that ones brain could be oozing in a Petri dish while someone forces synapses seems completely plausible with this feeling.

The insanity seems so imminent, but it never comes. So I'm left wondering alone, too afraid to leave it alone.
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