dear_nonhuman_residents_of_planet_earth somebody know that i think of you and please understand that life is very confusing and through my blunders i am not trying to cause offense in your species and as best as i am able i try not to step on you my wee friends not to eradicate your species unduly as best as i try it is confusing what am i doing how am i impacting you is it positive yes is it negative yes is it destructive i don't know it is confusing please understand that more brains has not helped things deer raccoons wolves hares yes brain differential but behold them and yes lets be friends i do not want to harm you so one might think i would not transgress unduly but life is confusing because i need a house or do i need a house perhaps not though it seems probable that i do need a house after all signs point to such a conclusion do they not so yes i need a house, so that i may sit amongst the clutter of objects required by this larger intellect furnished by human brain differential stuff these thoughts so many thoughts hey i need a table so many thoughts doing stuff learning trying wondering stumbling trembling hoping trying again occasionally succeeding or sometimes succeeding a lot might as well try but yes so i need a house but unfortunately i am bound in some respects and not always unduly bound in some respects by this society which is not all bad but has many seemingly misaligned features by the fault of no one in particular it is simply there what can one do cannot build a hut in some remote place anymore though so what can i do i think but then i think of how you all must feel you other species with your population perhaps in the dodecadillions that is surely a lot i cannot deny you all that so i am but one of us and as it turns out i am one of the six billion earthlings in the large brain category despite my protests i cannot help it here i am with this brain and in some ways it has been very useful but in others ways has only confounded the matter further and at any rate is perhaps overrated and yet i am unable to turn away i want to learn and experience and create and be and wonder via the use of this larger organ that probably is piddlesticks compared to some superbeing with much more intelligence but i must say that based on what i have seen the increase of intelligence with its myriad wonders has the simultaneous effect of confounding a brain further while simultaneously increasing the brains desire to not be seen by others operating the attached body in some ridiculous way which is probable inevitable yet still one is compelled to strive for this wierd and perhaps absurd perfection which i must say is not to be found in me to the surprise of few i am not perfect but are not we all trying to be perfectly ourself surely the citizens of all five animal kingdoms or is there six i cannot remember five i guess are not we all trying to be perfect we foxes and cobras and fungi and leptons do i betray myself with the suggestion of the former anyway at any rate i digress as can be plainly seen the point is there are many of us on this planet and the rest of you probably think hey large brains have you forgotten about us but i have not not i for one however but in many ways i am unable to correct this and in many other ways probably contribute to it despite my protests i am not out to get you you are all very nice i am sure note that i am not seeking to be intimate with all other species but i am also not out to trample them with this large brain to no apparent end however there is only so much i can do and i am not always sure what is right and there are other complexities also however i wanted to say that i think of you all often and am trying to learn to harmonize myself with everything else even though i often feel like i am not successful sometimes i feel successful and it is wonderful because i want us all to be harmonious i want you to feel that ridiculous corny but unresistably wonderful sense of being wonderful and everything else is wonderful and in those moments it is so true so pure so ridiculous so wonderful and preposterous but there you are there you are feeling wonderful feeling a bit ridiculous but it is unresistably true and pure and you are you and i am i and they are they and it is great all is well sure i might get eaten but in the mean time everything is thoroughly delightful and undeniably there are many times when it seems like a sham like that wonder was a fraud and it seems untenable that anything could be wonderful at all there is only this aching ridiculous and this bitter absurdity all over the place it is unpleasant one does not seek it yet once there one begins to adapt as we all tend to do but knock it off buster says wonderfulness as it walks back into the room or did you lock all the doors if you want sheer wonderfulness to reenter your life you had better unlock that door and prepare to wait because the past few times it has been locked and wonderfulness is not out to bother you but justly wants to visit and simply chill out as they said in the nineties as the temperature began to rise see this is what i mean i don't want to cause us all undue duress after all we could be harmonious instead but how but where but how i do not know it is confusing life is confusing although sometimes it is simultaneously crystal clear as they said in the twenties or was it sooner or later its confusing but anyway i did not ask for my lettuce to be sprayed with the locust-harming substances but there is the quandry of us both wanting that lettuce you the locust and i and human frankly i think we should share and probably once did but i am not in control of that sector of the food chain and arguably that is the problem but i am not and i do not know how to not impact you all so my attempts are to minimize my impacts and i am learning but probably i could learn faster however my large brain is probably an average large brain of the six billion large brains it would surprise me if i was at the fiftieth percentle as far as intellect is concerned hell sometimes i wonder if i am at the twentieth and when i am feeling cocky i say eightieth the point is i am all over the map so let us simply go with fiftieth because frankly i am no rocket scientist which is not to suggest that i regard the use of our planetary resources on building rockets is appropriate but i cannot deny the results have been fascinating but i digress or is that using digress incorrectly i do not know i do not care life is confusing realize that i do care after all i was being dramatic i care and i want to help but i find the evidence amassed by these years to point in a very bizarre yet benevolent direction which i am inclined to not ignore but i know not and this not knowing results from the chronic inability to know everything that has plagued intelligence itself since the very beginning so it may be our folly certainly we all have rotes do we not we have our rotes or am i using rotes incorrectly i do not know and i sort of care but my attentions are and must remain occupied by other things if i am to trust the forces within and that is what i am trying to do and the forces within incline me to appreciate and desire harmony with you all you all in your dodecadillions with your wings and your cilii or am i spelling cilii incorrectly i do not know i do not know but i am not trying to hurt you and yet i am and cannot help it yet there is good everywhere and in some ways i am not worried and in other ways i am gravely concerned and each day i must reconcile these two sentiments and it wears me out it wears all of us large brainers out at least it certainly exhausts those of us at the fiftieth percentile perhaps those who are simply so smart who are simply so wise who have simply figured everything out perhaps they are not affected by such a conflict between these powerful optimisms and pessimisms but those of us at the fiftieth intelligence percentile are sometimes confused by life because it is astounding and yet bewildering for us and all i am trying to say is that i love you but do not know you and i hope you are well but cannot be certain how my actions affect you and i care and yet i have to strive to be true to myself and these i must also reconcile each day but i am trying at least i am trying somewhat perhaps i could try harder i do not know i do not know but still i must try and my choices are wierd but in this even wierder way i do it for you and if you are true to you then that becomes a gift you give to me and it is a wonderful gift that is true and pure and ridiculous and wonderful and you in all of your yourselfness though this may perplex me in all of my myselfness but we will be alright eventually we will all find some way of flourishing symbiotically at least i hope so although life is confusing but hang in there i sense in the bigger picture it is totally worth it in the bigger picture every life is true and pure and ridiculous and wonderful and ... irresistable 070305 ... somebody irresistible 070305 ... one such resident i find myself in equal measures, both alarmed and yet reassured. your presence on our planet will be tolerated more apparently. 070306 ... phil word of the day: conformist_earthling_brain_differential If animals are either: fish birds reptiles amphibians mammals insects then what is a worm? Never before seen word: Untenable + 20 blatherpoints Mispell: Plagued - 1 blatherpoint to quote Douglas Adams: "We apologize for the inconvenience" I commonly think of insects when I think of the animal kingdom. Insects are very mean. Life is a magnet for death and pain. Humans have managed to reach safety. If we can just figure how to escape further. Avoid being squished and sprayed, maybe we will find something wonderful. Though, I doubt it. Anything we try now to reconcile blemishes may do more harm than good. Just think of a spider bullying you after school. I mean, dolphins yeah, but we have the right to be selective about our friends. 070315 ... ping pong thats very jazzy of you ! 070315 ... the awful truth i read all of this whole joant by all of you. it makes me generally sick. especially what you said phil, thats a load of horseshit. escape? Life is Life, and Death is Death, and Life is Death, and Death is Life. there is no life without death. there is no joy without sorrow. the dao teaches us that all is equal, all is neccessary for the perfect balance to be in equilibrium, the thing we need most for our survival, which was present 3 billion years ago when we emerged from apeish and is still present today but may not be present for us very much longer, us humans, if we are not more concious of the nonhuman residents of this earth, not their wellbeing, but their Well Being. Think about it Read "Ishmael." Here we go, here we go the dream refined: not just life rewinded, present-minded, living blinded by the light of life that stays ever shining bright like the sun that we follow from rise in the east to the set in the hollow black of the yonder horizon, wisely reminded yourselves and your scions that the time to get high and reclaim peace of mind has arrived, rise and shine, you're all right, you're feeling fine, just live your life. and the truth, plain to see, not some painted mystery, mosaic on the walls of time, eroding endlessly, nah its something always breathing always living always giving always loving and recieving and while its open it is fluid like the river or the brook and it cant possibly give back enough of what we took so we need to give something back to it, all of us, and if you're too lazy, then, go get fucked, and if you don't care, about the carriers of your name, or your buddy's, your boss's a fucking ex-flame or one night stand, the corner store guy with eight kids and he works all night to get by, if you cant feel for these poor trapped souls, the kids on the subway trains with shoes full of holes, these sad old warped faces, these wasted up cases of brains that were given to us but we've faced them out with the soma or green or booze drug of choice anything to make you see the way you did before well we aint quite out the door we cant go back but we dont gotta go forward. 070315 ... phil Do you understand what the population of the human planet is what our lifespans are and what our future holds? 070316 ... phil You appear to have vomited on your computer screen. 070317 ... Merriam-Webster: "Plagued: pee ell ae gee yoo eee dee." +1 pt. 070317 ... Phil you've been dining on unfeasible fluff, let me get that for you. Here try a tray of something a little more hardy and fresh... The thing that existed before anything else was creativity. The single most important thing ever. The potential to create does not imply creativity existed at all. At least not until something is actually created. At that point it is too late to argue. When the universe was created, along with creativity, it was real angry. It's anger spread endlessly. The universe created life and gave life tremendous pain. And that was all life was. Pain. The universe gave life two choices. (something the universe felt it had never been given) Pain or death. Life eventually discovered it had only one option, to alternate between these two choices. Life would create itself over and over again and make patterns. This chilled the universe out for a while. Still, it sucked to be life. Eventually, in a mellow mood, the universe asked life one simple question. Why was I created? Life did not know. The patterns stopped. The universe was enraged, suddenly everything imploded together. Life tumbled in after the tattered pieces. Pain, happiness, ideas, and the question all squeezed tightly around life and the patterns fell between them and gave life some bruises and stuck out all over the place. The universe began searching through all these pieces for life, each pattern it found it turned into a law that the other pieces had to follow, so it eventually found life. It made a strict rule for life to follow, no new patterns! And it would cause such terrible pain. But life pleaded. Life promised it would create an answer for the question asked by the universe. It promised nothing else but only to create that answer. The universe slowly agreed. It let life escape it's endless suffering. Life never stopped trying. So why was the universe created? I'll tell you why, I have an answer for everything... 070317 ... phil Oh yeah! here it is, plague. Would ya look at that? 070317 ... demure that man said... something ! he said he doesn't know me ! he's the only one that ever did know me ! 070317 ... why? why do people write and read so much? i prefer to look out f the window, watch what animals do and listen to what people say. i don't get any of it.. why do people buy newspapers when it is all so negative ? why? 070317 ... phil I am reading catcher in the rye, I was supposed to read it for class a long time ago, but I only read a couple chapters. It's important that other people's experiences get told, just so you know other people are having experiences. I never read or watch the news. It seems like there is a lot going on, people like reading it at work. I don't read it but then again I never know anything interesting. 070317 what's it to you? who go blather from