dating_randomly
i_think_you_know feels wrong,
and saddness thrives,
with all these random boys.

and still, I would do all the unthinkable things to just hear his voice again, let alone see his face.

and all I want to do is ask these boys how to do just that...
070420
...
Klover i dated this napkin for a while, it was a wild ride thats for sure but after a while i decided to date a pumpkin instead, but that was all before i met this huge chunk of potassium - let's just say we'll sending out invites in the next several weeks, isn't that so, my dear potassy-wassy? 070421
...
Osunlade why did you date a pumpkin ?
wheres your boat and your dog ?
my friend has got a silvery bike.
they wouldn't let me in the party last night, me no understand.
070422
...
e if they've got a lift then they must also have stairs ?
the music people are taking the piss out of me.
i won't need drugs or narcotic herbs if people would stop kuffing me.

i want to go fast in a car.
070422
...
unhinged to most boys
dating = fucking
so i have not been graced with that label very often


cause either i give it up too soon
or not at all


i'm tired of the modern definition of the word dating.
070422
...
pete "dating" as a word is used differently now then it was in our parents or grandparents day. rather then being a full fledged relationship, it seems to have referred to the stages before 'going steady', a term i only know from archie comics.. 070422
...
i_think_you_know and after it all again:

klarity reigns.
shall i have another thought not of him?

no.

all of my thoughts, and veils of happiness remain tangled with selfish strings,

reluctantly, they remain untied.
and sadness reigns...
070423
...
unhinged for_fucks_sake


if i am sleeping on your goddamn couch
every night for a couple of months
there is nothing random about it
and you can grab me close
when your exgirlfriend is ten feet away
thinking i didn't know
you need to put me on display
as your friend
as your violinist
fuck_that_noise


god i hate dating
i hate it
it always means more to me
than the other person involved
i hate that i have to sleep with a guy
for most guys to feel
even the slightest impulse
towards some sort of half_assed
committment
that most guys
aren't willing to be devoted
unless they are getting off frequently
guys weren't allowed to be this bad
when my mom was my age
i think the feminist movement backfired


god i am tired of being the friend
i want a cuddle_bug
i want morning_sex
i don't want to wonder if
i'm the most important person in their reality
i want some devotion thrown back at me finally



spring always makes me naseous (sp)
everyone coupled off
smiling
slobbering
while i'm silently observing
as the friend
070423
...
unhinged girl talking on her cellphone on the bus:

'i went to brunch yesterday. you remember tony? tony took me to brunch at this fancy french restaurant called trocadero. i'm not sure if he likes me. i mean we've always talked about other people, but yesterday we talked about everything. and he wouldn't let me pay.'


gag_me
070423
...
unhinged we went to dinner last night
as just_friends of course
and everywhere i looked
there were couples
touching
kissing
gazing


and then i had some drinks with her
and she made me unbelieveably happy
but she's already somebody's baby
and she gave me a really beautiful bracelet she made
told me how wonderful and great i am
all night long


and all of it
was like a stab wound
and today i'm
gushing
overflowing
same_tired_old_story

(but i don't think it will ever stop hurting for me
to be alone; springtime just seems to intensify that for awhile)
080426
...
Tenon is what i did to fill the void... But instead the void grew bigger. The one that I wanted is the one I could never have. Now there's only emptyness when before a heart would be racing. 080426
...
minnesota_chris they flame up quickly and flame out quickly 080427
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from