hsg just let it be a "maybe";
maybe RIGHT NOW is the time to questi"on which side of awake"are you?ready to wake up to a deeper sort of awakeness.

continuous awakeness from light to dark to light & again is the goal.

lay still in your bed. outer lights out. inner lights on, "ON". always struggle to ride that borderline, the very brink or limit of your ability to stay awake, to maintain attention.

here's a tool:
the counterpressure of fatigue, the more exhaustive your day, proportionately then your mind will have greater light in ratio to your quickly relaxing & shutting down body. run, fast, walk, serve, beg, cry. totally exhaust yourself in every way u can devise. chop_wood_carry_water. up & down hills. intervals. do complex movements with many parts of your body simultaneously. calistheniCircuiTraining. intervals. no rest at any time. extreme dehydration. heat exhaustion. diaphoretics. lots of clothing.

the seven exercise pyramid:

1 leg_lifts
2 jumping_jacks
3 pushups
4 superman_lifts (lay facing ground, arms straight in front of you as if your diving, raise whole body off ground so ur balancing on close to only ur bellybutton!)
5 super_lunges
6 atomic_situps
7 8_count_body_builders

do one of each in succession, then 2, 3... up to 21 reps & back down.

get into the progressive pattern:
do it all day. set urself on fire. if u need to rest, go on a nice easy run. ride on top of ur legs telling urself until u really do believe it that ur riding a horse.

smoke a pipe of pure tobacco on ur runs.

when ur so exhausted, & by ALL means exhaust thoroughly, sit in:

-feet double shoulder_width apart
-legs bent so ur upper leg bone is perpendicular to ur lower leg bone
-arms out in front of u @ a 45 dg angle to ground
-back straight
-head straight
-mind awake

rest in this position in complete awakeness.

intellectual time is inversely proportionate to physical intensity. hellish days will spare you many, many years of sitting with your thumb up your ass.

just pay attention. mouth closed. mind opening. breath very slowly very deeply very so hard to even notice your breathing but make it your CONSTANT mission to keep awareness_of_breath until you remain forever alive.
sameolme I am exhausted, dreams control me. 061124
three words strings control_your_dreams dibs 110429
just lost yeah yeah yeah

right right right
what's it to you?
who go