unhinged some of them
you can tell are new to it
their human incarnation

peaceful interaction
they all elude
sitting in a corner
silently stunned
toddling slowly and unsure
beating their playmates
over the head with hard plastic

even the day she was born
there was an old look on her face
like she knew this place
and wasn't happy to be back
(a week late, kicked out by chemicals
she fought for 21 hours
stubborn even as a fetus
some would say)

there was always a wiseness
beyond her years
she struggled to find the source
of strange voices
craned her neck
when she shouldn't have been able
to do those things
one week old
talking in languages no one could understand
wisely looking
brow furrowed at her first football game
the noise
the violence
it disturbed her

she quickly became the reincarnation
of love lost
years spent in places
that shouldn't exist
she learned the power of touch
at a very young age
always a wise look in her eye
sat down next to me
and placed her hand on my leg
gave it a pat
pat pat
barely three
she knew even then that i needed reassuring

it is not very often
that we all exist in the same space
flung to the far reaches
once a year
we can look each other in the face
that even in those moments
i realize the emptiness that i leave behind
it is hard not to feel the cracking of my heart
that year
barely four
she saw the tears well
and a wise sadness passed like lightening over her face
jumped in my lap
and covered my eyes with her hands
held them out in front
child_like all the same

'i have tights on today auntie nicole'
and the blue and white dress that matched her blue eyes perfectly
poofed out at the skirt
and she twirled
clumsy in her big feet
her long red curly hair
hiding her long neck
and fragile collarbone
i ate her up in kisses
'beautiful, you are absolutely beautiful'
she smiled like her mother

we sat down next to each other on the fireplace
watching the commotion of our family fly past
and she rested her little hand on my leg
and gave it a pat
pat pat
DannyH very
very good writing.
And you can check
if you like how often I've said that on here. And you'll find it's not more than a handful of times in five years.
unhinged as the munchkins grow so does the wonder

*bows deeply*
sagsfsgasfg iddttdsnditaqaitwastiyisddac 070721
sameolme thank you 070721
unhinged i have to admit this blathe was inspired by one of stork daddy's relatively sparse blathes of around the same time, especially the title.

my niece is five now. going on 75. she was born at the same time of day that my grandma died. not even in the same year, but i feel an old soul, some of the same love my grandma radiated in that precious child.

i get to see her and my nephew owen in about five weeks. i am already so excited i can't stand it.
fiano he didn't even like my t-shirt slogans when he came back from having a drunken shag with someone else. He made me sit there and force creativity out of me, it doesn't work like that, you can't force it. I like my t-shirt slogans whats wrong with them? They would have worked, push me, push me. It
is time that i did the ones i wanted to do. thehut one was good and the goat one, we didn't do those either.
thanks for helping me though, what is it you want in return? people don't do things for nothing you know, "but how about all the help i gave you" you shattered what you did for me when you said that, but you couldn't hold it in could you. nevermind, i do forgive you.
stork daddy beautiful 070722
unhinged hey_daddy
you'll do great
i'm waiting for your phone call
unhinged she gets smarter
she reads (....!)
retreats farther into her own little world

and it's that special time of year
where we are all in the same place
like an eyeblink
uncle jeff and owen playing pirates
'no owen, you gotta walk like this
we're pirates
pirates have peg legs'
but really because uncle jeff's knee
doesn't bend well in the cold
mommy daddy
grandma poppa
watching it all fly past
talking about the past, future
watching the present fly past

i sat down
at the kitchen table
to watch
take a mental picture
for the lean times of my lonely life far away
and she saw me sitting alone
as uncle jeff chased them
walked over
'i haven't talked to you in awhile'
(such old words for a baby barely six...!)
and climbed in my lap
her bony butt precariously balanced
i grabbed her waist in both arms
whispering 'i love you most'

and that smile
that old childish smile
she gave in to my snuggling
and laid her cheek on mine
oren Thank you, unhinged. 100401
unhinged you are welcome dear

(i have come back to this blathe often
to remember those days
when my niece sat near me and gave my knee a pat
pat pat

she's eight (!) now
not so childish anymore)

my brain is currently wine addled
i have so many words that
i will save them for later

but i remember those days
those specific days
encapsulated by the original blathe
she is growing into her maturity
it doesn't seem so strange now
to see and hear the wiseness come out of her
like it did back then
when her mind was so far ahead of her body
that it was startling to hear
those words come out of her mouth
or that gesture of the pat
pat pat

i didn't know how important i was
until i held that child in my arms
that day changed me
a literal fork in the road
one of those days you look back on and say
'that day made a difference'
unhinged photographic_memory

i have a picture of that football game
her in a bumble bee suit with her furrowed brow
uncle jeff in his football uniform on the sidelines
holding her
on top of my refrigerator

everytime i open the refrigerator
i see it
and smile
unhinged wordless_conversations

she will be an adult in years
before i know it
unhinged (she is a teenager, she is taller than me, her voice has deepened (i think she sings alto in choir at church) she's taller than me!!! life is this; children grow. surroundings change, but the love is like an electric current under the surface waiting to be plugged into)

this thing with the
pat pat

other children in more recent years
have showed me the same affection

as a baby she received regular massage
from her mommie and her auntie
i was holding her
big enough to sit on my lap
she slipped one arm under mine
and around the back
the other arm she laid on top
and her little fingers kneeded my arm
from mommie to baby to friend auntie
she sat on my lap
and knew i needed reassuring
a connector in the flow
a wide open heart
a pat
pat pat

barely a month old
he still needs his head supported
he eats every two hours
he screams at the dark most nights
with the roar of a lion

i held him like the little football he is
and even he in all his tinyness
wrapped his arm around
and as i held the bottle to his toothless mouth
he grabbed my shirt in his fist
kicked his feet
in anticipation
as he sucked his hand relaxed
he looked at me
and gave me
a pat
pat pat
unhinged (the light in his eyes when he sees my face, the twinkle that comes from them like a tiny expansive sun in my universe full of dark lonely space...could he possibly remember that day i fed him when he was a newborn? he looked directly into my eyes that day. do my eyes stir memories deep down in his heart?

when we video chat he holds the phone close to his face to give me phone kisses and all i can see are those little shining eyes and my own heart flame ignites like a wildfire

my angel baby)
what's it to you?
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