breaking_up
*molly today was hard.
when they say they love you and they make you promise that you'll never leave them.. then they turn around and throw it in your face.
i will see him every day for the rest of the year. and it will tear my heart out every time.
010410
...
breaded and fried filet of birdmad a may afternoon
it was a hard day
(why do i keep doing this, this is pathetic and stupid, doctor kevorkian, check please!)
the day i got samantha's letter in the mail
yeah, that_letter
(the wound that never heals, the scap i can't stop picking)

and when i was done reading it, the things she said about us being a part of each other's lives for a long time to come dissolved faster than snowballs in hell
010410
...
inferiority_complex thought about it

dont know how i feel

ambivalence i suppose



something slimy crawls around my heart
010411
...
unhinged it took us nine months. we just don't talk to each other anymore. 010411
...
claudia i break-up with friends all the time. i hate them and they have no clue. it's difficult getting-back my things. it's like the classic breakup where you return eachother's stuff. only they don't know i'm breaking up with them. and even after the fact, they're not quite sure what happened. at first it's hard, but after a while you find things not to like about the other person just so you can secretly reclaim your stuff. then it's just sport. 010430
...
lost its awkward when you have to see them everyday. you want to cry but you also want to try and show them that it didnt phase you at all. 010501
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GrayWolf just_friends 010723
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*molly heroin boy, junkie jones, i miss you. wonder if you still think about me. are you too far gone?

broken up with another one again. some friends this time too.

&what if i'd never followed you into the alley that day?
010730
...
James T. McRae I don't care if she knows it fazed me, I want her to know how devoted I still am to her. She said she'd never break up with me, then one stupid thing, one tiny raising of the voice, "I promised myself the next time would be the last time" those words will tear my inner most heart for a thousand years. I am so in love with you nikki, does that mean anything to you. 031110
...
REAListic optimIST how do you live from day to day,
knowing the pain you've caused?
all of the suffering i have bore
have you no moral laws?
there is no substance left in me;
inside, i'm completely hollow.
you've ripped the insides out of me,
my soul is next to follow.
with teeth of steel and heart of the same
you tore my heart asunder.
now with limbs of deadwood and soul of charcoal
i sit down to think and wonder
how my life would have been different
if your love had stayed as one
instead of two different pieces bonded.
we never should have begun.
now i must pieve together my life
in order to survive.
but i don't konw if i can do it
i seem to have lost my drive
where has my life gone?
the answer i don't know.
like trying to find a single snowflake
in a bank of snow.

spring, 1992
031124
...
stork daddy some people are smart enough for monogamy, some people are dumb enough for it. for the rest of the world it proves problematic. 031125
...
shivers even if it might be for the better, it still hurts. i still love u and i dont want to. im just tired of your shit. 031125
...
REAListic optimIST dammit your love = our love. gg typing 031125
...
x i have so many pieces 031125
...
REAListic optimIST maybe in one of those pieces, upon reexamination, you can find your peaces. 031125
...
juvenile? perhaps. keeps a certain kind of relationship exciting. 040803
...
no reason well, shit.

that's all i can say right now.
050616
...
kyree 'I can't hear you. You're breaking up.' 050617
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Fey How many lies did you cover over with a kiss and a sweet remark? You are a master in trickery, I was a fool in love.

My dogs are now chewing the shoes you left at my door. I hope my heart heals, I hope the marks you left do not last forever.
051120
...
Fey How many lies did you cover over with a kiss and a sweet remark? You are a master in trickery, I was a fool in love.

My dogs are now chewing the shoes you left at my door. I hope my heart heals, I hope the marks you left do not last forever.
051120
...
Fey How many lies did you cover over with a kiss and a sweet remark? You are a master in trickery, I was a fool in love.

My dogs are now chewing the shoes you left at my door. I hope my heart heals, I hope the marks you left do not last forever.
051120
...
Fey How many lies did you cover over with a kiss and a sweet remark? You are a master in trickery, I was a fool in love.

My dogs are now chewing the shoes you left at my door. I hope my heart heals, I hope the marks you left do not last forever.
051120
...
unhinged hard to do with someone you were never technically with in the first place

john_and_i
051121
...
unhinged i wonder if it had anything to do with all his bandmates, his sister, and some of his friends seeing me there with john last saturday. most of them are gossipy little bitches. he tried to make it vague; he still wants to hang out.


i'm not good at casual dating. he was too small for me anyways.
051126
...
IGG should i
should i not

i'm trapped by other people's expectations
and whatever i do i will hurt somebody.
051127
...
unhinged i've never been good at it, but then again it's not something i've had much practice with.


all i know is being with you was making me feel guilty and i'm pretty sure love isn't supposed to feel that way. you weren't the first person on my list anymore. someday you'll thank for me letting you go when i did.
090821
...
In_Bloom I will not tip the vessel and break it because I'm too anxious to keep looking on it
Perched precariously as it may be
090821
...
unhinged only took a month and i kept the hurtful shit i said to a minimum. im getting better at it


but it still hurts
breaking
being the operative word
130908
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from