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epitome of incomprehensibility
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NOW this is in the right place. Not livejournal. Feel free to arbitrarily participate!
1. If you could be any of these animals, which would you be?
a) armadillo
b) bear
c) capybara
d) human
2. Which rhyme do you find particularly creepy?
a)
As I was walking down the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today,
Oh, how I wish he'd go away.
b)
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?
c)
Algy met a bear.
The bear was bulgy.
The bulge was Algy.
d) None. Don't be silly. I bet you didn't even copy those correctly.
3. The word that best describes you is:
a) philosophical
b) hairy
c) warm
d) sensible
4. You are at a business meeting when a colleague suddenly and inexplicably turns into a giraffe. What do you do?
a) Chuckle!
b) Get out of the way.
c) Bring him/her some lettuce to eat.
d) Refer him/her to question 1 of this quiz, gently explaining that "giraffe" is not among the transformation options.
5. You fantasize about:
a) Fractals.
b) Lesbian fractals.
c) World peace.
d) Other humans.
6. Imagine you are in a room. What item of furniture do you most expect to encounter?
a) a chair
b) a chair
c) a chair
d) all of the above
7. Imagine that the last question was written by either a), b), c), or d). Who would be most likely to write it?
a) a
b) b
c) c
d) anything but d
8. What are you thinking about right now?
a) What the hell are lesbian fractals?
b) None of your business.
c) This sounds like a short story. Is it a short story? Why don't you focus more on the human condition?
d) Why am I being singled out? I thought d) stood for dull. I thought I was supposed to be the boring sensible one. Is this some sort of reverse psychology thing?
9. What is the opposite of psychology?
a) Oh, I get it. Reverse psychology.
b) Un-psychology?
c) Inner peace.
d) Actual science.
10. If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, what would you eat afterwards?
a) Definitely chocolate.
b) Does it matter?
c) I wouldn't kill him. I don't think I could kill another living soul. I'd just take him to the beaches of Antarctica in 2055 and give him horseradish to eat. Me, I'd have pineapple gelato.
d) Probably a peanut butter sandwich.
...
Mostly As:
You probably did well in school, and if you still go to school, you probably think you're not doing well enough. You're clever but a little fickle, and you need more leafy greens in your diet. The next time you meet an attractive person of your preferred gender(s), you will blush, even though you don't usually blush. To ease the situation, start talking about green leafy vegetables in a committed way. You are prone to engage in intellectual warfare with D) types, and possibly physical warfare with B) types, unless you're both on the same sports team, in which case you'll be best friends.
Mostly Bs:
Beneath that hairy exterior you have a loyal heart. A) will tell you that loyalty is overrated, but C) will say it looks nice on you. Of course, C) says nice things about everybody. Don't be afraid of opening up to people and showing your vulnerable side. Just be afraid of people suddenly turning into giraffes.
Mostly Cs:
You're nice, but a little vague. Luckily, in mild cases of vagueness such as yours, targeted adjective therapy has shown to have immediate and impressive results. Unlike many other sensitive-minded souls who throw around adjectives and adverbs like confetti, you don't use them often enough. A well-placed adjective can invigorate your activist aspirations. Don't just say, "Vladimir Putin is a bully and he should eat cardboard!" Tell us what color the cardboard should be.
Mostly Ds:
You don't think outside the box, but you do question why there should be a box in the first place. I mean, what's with boxes? Is it that they're square? Perhaps square is radical... The fact that metaphor isn't your natural habitat has a bright side; it gives you leverage on explaining the mechanics of metaphor. (That was a mixed one, as you can see). You don't like mixed drinks but you enjoy a glass of aged Scotch every once in a while. Your main weakness is that you've never seriously considered going back in time. Type A) and B) people may resent you for "showing off," but eventually your cando(u)r and optional Canadian spelling will win them over.
Mostly Es:
Congratulations! You either didn't take the test or you didn't like the choices. Either way, you're now mad at me for categorizing you, even though you win.
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