antidepressants girl are a joke im beyond help like that i refuse to take something and smile all night 000326 ... fairydust when i realized that i really had been depressed, i wondered if they would have helped. but i was glad that i did't get them. although the pain was unberable, i learned so much about myself through those eight months of, it makes life a tiny bit easier.a tiny bit. 000326 ... fairydust when i realized that i had really been depressed, i wondered if maybe they would have helped. but i realized that even though the pain was almost unbearable,those nine months taught me so much about myself that life is almost a tiny bit easier. a tiny bit 000326 ... Philifledermaus colourful, but pointless, edifices of medical egotism, these serve no function other than to act as a supportive crutch to the (uninformed as to their ineffectual nature) psyche and interfere with future job applications. begone my easy to swallow friend. 000506 ... guitar_freak Little pills don't do shit night morning constantly drugged will i ever be myself? 001124 ... Prozac kid I prefer painkillers... 010509 ... amam i belive they do help but only to an extent and once you reach a point they only bottle up your emotions until you forget them when all of them come out i believe the best anti depressants however are the ones you dont take orally writing and playing music and stuff like that help me alot more 010608 ... mmm took paxil, didn't like the ways it was messing w/ my head.. i stoped 2 months ago, i only told like 3 people.. it did lots of crazy shit to me. and it made me pyhsicaly sick alot.. i think i'm better off with out it 010608 ... dB "take this pill and it will make it all better". Bollocks to that. I like my pain. I carry it like a torch. I never hide it. It's a part of me that I will not let go of. 010609 ... rubydee as always the fingers need lotion the brain needs a potion a concoction of paxil, nicotine, and caffeine self medicated self medicating striving for the balance the rational self fights the induction of chemical catharsis preferring the healing sunshine the critic screams drowning out the beauty of the ocean pain in waves crashing onto the soul rubbing it raw tears fight for the surface sea turtles swim to the shore salty memories ensconced in sand and a fight for normalcy resumes in the brain 010609 ... sweetheart of the song tra bong They want me to get on them. I don't want to. I'm still not really sure why. I can do it myself, I keep thinking. 010609 ... The Truth For thousands of years, humans have survived. Joy comes from within. But is your mind, body and spirit in good shape? All three need plenty of exercise. And now, somewhere in the dark, a pharmaceutical company is getting rich! Shhhhh..Don't tell the patients! 010609 ... baby satan embrace the pain and love it. 010609 ... rubydee easy to say if you are nineteen and have few responsibilities but being older and trying to "make ends meet" seems to encourage the use of whatever you can find be it a blathe a pill a banana in the ear hey, whatever i swallow my pills and feed my ills a little something to keep the voices quieter so i can get some work done without yelling over them. 010609 ... mmm all i need is her, i don't need the drugs 010701 ... kingsuperspecial here comes my rant: I was firmly in the "I can do it myself camp" for about 8 years. Over that time I struggled with other ways of fighting my demons, and gradually came to accept a very low standard for what "happy" meant. I warped myself pretty good, and was on the edge more than a few times, the coals of my inner conflicts constantly smoldering and searing. I lost a lot of time, people, and personal growth down various black holes and trips to ugly places. My ‘badge of misery’ because an end in itself, a reason to not change. Trying to ‘get better' seemed futile, like trying to change the color of my eyes. I had no optimism or belief that life was worthwhile, and changing that mindset was a scary proposition, with no familiar ground and no personal identity. These things combined to paint a pretty bleak future. Taking an anti-depressant completely changed my life. As time went on and I lost more opportunities to my depression, I became extremely frustrated by my inability to change. The repetition of disaster and disappointment finally overcame stigma and fear of the unknown, and sought help. The therapist suggested and SSRI, and I just said fuck it, and tried it. The drug (zoloft) is pretty mild, but it made some subtle changes in my outlook, sort of turning down the volume on the pain I had felt for so long. This change empowered me to feel in a way I had not though possible - truly optimistic. I was amazed that it was possible for me to feel something different about life. I don't believe the drug alone is enough - I have tried to form a new identity around the new possibilities the drug made available. I have improved my career, gotten away from relationships that were bad for me, and stopped kicking my cats. To those that point the finger at anti-depressants as "cheating", I say this: There used to be no treatment for diabetes (another chemical imbalance), yet now people take insulin, and lead "normal" lives. They use this drug to survive, and are not stigmatized by using a drug to correct their body. Drugs alone won’t fix anything – you have to want to change, and you have to use they opportunity they give to grow. I don't believe drugs work for everyone, and I'm sure a lot of doctors have fouled people up with inappropriate diagnosis and prescription. The same could probably be said for any medical treatment, or even acupuncture or other ‘holistic’ medicine, for that matter. Still, if you find the right doctor/drug/therapist, and you really want to change, then I see the drugs as a tool. You have to use the tool to leverage your own strength to change, be honest with yourself about why you hurt, what your spirit and you mind truly want, and how to get it. Also, I don't buy the whole "evil empire" view of the pharmaceutical companies as a simple black and white, good vs. evil picture. Modern medicine, like all the other crazy little parts of our complex global society, have evolved though a long process. There is good and bad in just about everything, and to see only one side is an oversimplification. Hey, maybe SSRI medication is a crutch. Next time your leg is broken, try getting around without your crutch, and see how productive that is. okay, end of rant. (a) 010702 ... vampers i stopped taking mine, again, only this time i dont leave the bottle full, i throw one out everynight since my mother likes to count them and make sure the bottle is going down 010702 ... // thats what i've been doin for the past few months... i hate my parents, they don't understand that i don't like drugs... any kind of drug. i just don't want to take them 010702 ... black-dyed gel product matt's gotta take 'em because he's clinically depressed. HA HA! 010702 ... vampers thats nothing to find funny. depression is a disease. nothing to laugh about. 010702 ... black-dyed gel product you don't know matt. if you did, you'd laugh too 010702 ... cheer-up-emo-kid I take zoloft. and when I dont, I freak out. It makes me wish that my friends never forced me into the doctor's office. 020607 ... blue star Prozac has helped me a lot. But sometimes it completely deadens any emotion that I might have, barring frustration and/or anger. In other words, I can't really laugh, I can't really cry, and I can't really feel. I think this makes me miss out on a lot. I also am torn about reading those books that say "antidepressants trash your brain." Because I know they probably do... but I don't have many options if I want to finish school and come out alive and healthy. They are the best of things, and they are the worst of things. 020607 ... Dafremen Waking up in the morning. Sunshine. My Chevy. Sleeping on the missus´ ample bosom and listening to her heart beat. Warm showers. Singing my songs..the happy ones anyway. Howard Jones..most of the time. B-52s..all of the time. Watching my kids play. A good dialogue (read MON-O-LOG) on blather. Writing poetry..most of the time. Playing Quake2. Watching Drew Carey...and What´s My Line? Paste! (But why the HELL won´t he answer dammit?! Drat! Foiled again.) Reading my own sh*t over and over and over again and trying to imagine what people are thinking as they read it. Reading KX21´s sh*t over and over again and trying to imagine whether or not he´s really onto something or whether he´s just some nutbag who happens to be spewing drivel that is surprisingly not unlike the truth. Being surprised with a compliment now and then...or hell let´s face it, being surprised with an insult now and then is just as good. (Sporting best devilish grin right now) } : ) A good argum...er discussion. 020607 ... person don't be a martyr don't say you've been were I am and you understand don't bullshit yourself saying that it was the drugs, not you that pulled you through in the end antidepressants kill the person you are and replace you with someone more convenient to society and to those around you instead of being a hassle or burden on others you're mindless and without ego don't compare them to insulin, there is a difference between a disease of the body and a disease of the mind you will never be normal, they will make you numb, without creativity, dead but with breathing it is about you controlling your life and those around you controlling you a crutch... or an excuse? depression is extremely addictive and often enjoyable in a very unhealthy sense, help and release is a must but meds are not the way to go - they do not repair you or cure you, they will only kill you for a while so that the things happening around you can fade away - do you call this solving your problems? depression is dangerous, not evil antidepressants can be both society seams to have this attitude - "drugs are bad... unless they make it easier for me to deal with you". all the doctors and psciatrists boast the wonders of antidepressants while 95% of all the victims of antidepressants I've talked to and heard from and read the writtings of say don't do them, that the side affects just aren't worth it. I'm sending this though I doubt I've actually said anything new. 020703 ... miss empathy Tried Paxil. Passed out. Can't be anxious if you're near passed out all the time. Tried Zoloft. Never ate. Voices shut up. But I couldn't think straight. Gave up. Fell in love. Now I'm better than any antidepressant could do for me. Having someone else care about me gave me a reason not to cut, starve, someone else who knew what I was up against. Showed me things aren't that bad. 030427 ... /anon Paxil is mine It hasn't done much yet though. Zoloft did nothing too. They are just as effective as placebos. 030428 ... sixteen Zoloft has significantly changed my life, and trust me...it wasnt because of the placebo effect. TRUST me. Some drugs work better for some people. Some don't do shit, and some are just plain WRONG for the user. Te only side effect I've encountered in the past 4 months of using Zoloft is my decreased sex drive. This isn't much of a problem, seeing as I'm a teenager and I was overly horny al the time before. Zoloft has HELPED me balance my life. I used to be hellbent on destroying myself...I pushed people away or played games with friends, I was uncomfortable and awkward in many social situations. Zoloft balanced out my mood swings..there are far fewer and milder. This as not in any way taken away from my personality. In the seven years of depression, yes I have learned about myself and become a more introspective person. Zoloft has not dulled this part of my being. I have been more social and content than I ever have been before. I LIKE myself, and thats an amazing thing