Mahayana maybe_im_wrong (but)
this_is_what_you_want complicated_girl

silence now.. silence ... silence

what_am_i_now who_are_you


destruction_of_loves_beauty whatever_you_give_away
i'm_so_lonely layers_are_unraveling
like_four_four_time_slipping_away_into_someone (else)

Honesty and Trust

I have hope. That helps."

what_do_you_want (now)
phil permanent 040521
notphil peppermint 040521
endless desire i like this. very much. i dont know how to say how much. enough that it is on my favourites. and ive never done that before. 040521
pete coarsing winds over the plains. the solemn shattered fields. the land where the rocks are broken and the sun rises high in the noon day sky. we run, tripping over the razor edges, barely avoiding death slices as we pick our way hopefilled that we may see safety. we run, slowly with each day tenth that passes. we run, we stagger, we fall. with still so far to go we cannot fall. we must move on. but we can't. we have fallen. the lights flash over head. they are searching for us, the fallen. they will take us to where we have run from. away we will go, and no longer will i see you. away we will go, to die slower than natural life allows. to see our familes deteriorate and collapse. to see our friends and loves devoured by time. all the while we are saved from its affects, yet tortured by a slow, painful diesease. one that pains and then stops, and then pains, and then stops, so as to be sure that we never get used to it. a screaming agony. a blistering hellflame that can only be summoned by one truly enthralled in the hateful lust of lost silence and innocence. and here we lay fallen. the light touches upon you. they take you from me. they leave. i am alone. fallen. you are gone. and i am free. free with the pain that you have been taken and i have been left here. and i will cry to the skies for your safety. for your quick death. and i will never be the same. 040522
once again We went driving, but I don't remember what you said, only the way your eyes held the road like some ancient navigator carrying us across the world. We went out and I can't remember where we went, but there in my mind are memories of the way we were. The way you held my hand and sometimes more and when you looked at me and I smiled at you and it was good and right. We met in the middle and we danced together... a gentle hug and sway that was poetry enough for the two of us... and I let you in... I had never done it before and I will never do it again, but even though the shape of my face is there... the eyes... I haven't grown an inch or gained a pound... I will never be the same. 040523
Lint Lover Not since that morning that you left, after the night you spent with me in my one room apartment on Melrose in 1995 040523
what's it to you?
who go