and_he_said_to_me marrissa went missing again "will you get fucking over it? youre not that attractive anyway." and.... cringe. and wilt.. and die inside.. ouch. 020128 ... Mahayana -&- he said 2 her... prob what he said onto himself a million times o'ver inside "will you get fucking over it? youre not that attractive anyway." and he said 2 her... ...only what he knew 2 be true only what [he] knew 2 be true inside -&- that mantras requiem was... since he was not beauty than nobody else could be at least ... in his presence hed let nobody be just be just [be] just [[be]] just [[[be]]] just [[[[BE]]]] [{in just 'being' there is plenty of beauty, an infinite amount of attractiveness}] [some people just forgot how 2 see the beauty within... for so long... that they forgot how it would look in others] [[do not let 'anyone' allow you 2 forgot your own beauty]] 020128 ... sabbie dear Mahayana, i wrote that last night, tired, exausted, sad and flat. i come back this morning to find your beautiful canvas below it. thank you. thank you for making my day thank you for spanking the situation thank you for beautifing myself again. thank you for taking the time to Mahayana a stranger. thank you dear heart. 020128 ... Annie111 Yes. That was amazing. That kind of inner amazingness and understanding does not come naturally to many people. Obviously it does for you, Mahayana. It made my day better knowing that people like you exist in the world. :) 020128 ... Mahayana [blushes] & shyly enough [doesnt know what 2 say] :: thank you 4 your kind words :: they truly are precious gifts [we are all as beautiful as infinity is long] 020129 ... ClairE I_don't_know. What a surprise. When I tell him things I think, he says I_know. I guess that is a change, at least. 020130 ... ilovepatsajak you know that space you get when you put your feet together? yeah, i want to fuck that. he's beauty 020218 ... Dis "You can remember every line from the Simpsons and none of our conversations." Or something like that. It hurt. What will he be like when I am old? 020219 ... carne de metal I know a guy who knows every line of the simpsons, its the best thing he's ever done, and probably the best thing he'll ever do. Its fa-an-tastic. by the way: "olvidalo amigo, gracias por nada, no pienso comprar su estúpido remedio" 020220 ... Casey "Give it up, it will never work. You and any girl do not make a match." 020220 ... MollyCule "you've got that depakote look" and i took his twisted words and straightened them into a poem i've always loved 020314 ... unhinged mahayana is what i wish i could be a_beautiful_buddhist but i am too preoccupied with myself to ever reach her level of mastery 020314 ... indie.chickadee "No. No way," upon me asking him to dance. I extended my middle finger in his face, and with that, I was gone. 020508 ... silentbob "you would have done the same to me" contemptfully but defensively 020508 ... blue star "It's not like we're friends or anything. I mean, we're not, right? We never hang out outside of work..." Am I wrong in thinking that you can develop a friendship with someone without hanging out outside of work? I guess I've formed a lot of friendships that way... and I still have all of them. Stupid boys. 020508 ... silently_she_screams lol......thats wat he said...I poured out my heart, my soul....It wasn't funny and he said lol 020509 ... gatorbabe rofl. 020509 ... mon the answer is in a grain of sand caught between your toes the words are on a summer wind floating in the sunlight my thoughts are spread across the dark blue ocean raising waves and falling storms and the rain is your intent 020509 ... fella "and he said, 'do ya love me?' and she said, 'no, but thats a really nice ski mask!' " 020509 ... kill rhythm "i told you i would always love you, and that wasnt a lie. and i told you i wouldnt be with anyone else, and that wasnt a lie, but do you ever think i could really settle down with anybody?" well buddy, you have now proven yourself wrong. it is a lie. 020509 ... Freak and he said to me "I think I can love you." 020509 ... Rhin 'you are the worst mistake i have ever made in my life!' 'it's not you, it's me' 'i love you, but...' 'it'll be our little secret' 'i have nothing to say to you' 'i never meant to hurt you' 'you know i didn't mean it. i was angry.' 'i promise' 'get an abortion. how could you even consider the alternative' 'i'll never let go' (right before he died) 'come with me. i'll rescue you from hell and we'll be together always' 'jesus fucking christ rhin, you're so goddamn stubborn!' 'you always do what you want anyway. nothing i say matters, so what's the point' 'you're the meanest rhinnacup in the world' 'i always fight for you rhinna' 'i loved you. you just didn't love me back' 'i hear you, but i don't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth' 'goodbye rhin' 020509 ... backspace not everything i write has to be personal. i write things that have to do with real emotions in actual as well as imagined circumstances. i hoped i would never have to explain anything because when i write, i write for me first. selfish, you say? i believe self-actualized writers have the ability to transcend public misconceptions about what they write. unfortunately, i haven't reached that level of enlightenment, and i'm still hurt when someone distorts my intentions and doesn't ask for an explanation, but i feel that i must, and still i feel that i shouldn't have to. 020510 ... kerry it's not selfish at all... it's just real. human. 020510 ... Syrope "you're not the most attractive person i've ever seen but i like you anyway" and i'll never let him forget it for as long as we see each other and a different "he" said... "I can actually have *gasp* INTELLIGENT CONVERSATIONS with you! what's scarier is that I can also *gasp* achieve orgasm thinking about you...all this from one person. scary indeed." sometimes I worry that I date the wrong guys... 020510 ... jessicafletcher you are the queen, and i will feed you cheese. 020520 ... Daria he said. "no, anybody but kate" That's what i cant forget. You see I was going to go with her over the bridge, cuz she was afraid to go, and he had something to say to her that was kinda a secret. I kow he doesn't like her, she's too fat(no offense, she's one of my best friends) I know it wasn't anything about jhon, cuz he didn't say "anybody but jhon or Kate" What could it be, I have always wonderd. 020520 ... unhinged 'when it comes down to it you are nothing more than an elitist' and he was right 020520 ... Kate "What the hell is this?" But he didn't say that directly to me, he said that to Tracee who told that to me, because I wanted to know how you reacted when you found it. I wonder if the gates of Hell brook loose. 020520 ... CRO "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." and he was right. Cerberus is a pussy. 020520 ... broken_down girl "Jesus, just get in the goddamn car!" And a cold silence the whole way home. I know we will not be the same when I see him agian. 020521 ... hereallysucks i think 'he' needs a whole new personality or a good remodeled one. 020521 ... blown cherry Shaggy said to me "You seem different tonight.... Your head is up, and you have a brighter disposition" I replied "You mean I'm happy?" "That's it!" 020522 ... girl_jane "You know were could never be more than friends, right?" "Yeah." He then proceeded to put his tongue in my mouth, and I just let him... 020528 ... prollymaybeornot [in answer to a question on our long term prospects] 'yeah [pause and then in slightly more hushed voice ] i can see us as a couple. [or something close] 020529 ... onemorebumpintheroad and he said to me it'll all work out, things will be alright and i try to make the burden mine blow through lines for resolution remember the times we've spent careless and ignorant of inevitability scarred from the inside, the fall of innocence grief is always the smug fucking victor not welcomed but quick to destroy my peace i prayed for relief and knew even then that it was too late for me all my beliefs and emotions wrenched from my shellshocked grip from numbed and apathetic fingertips supressed the heavy cry that i felt come to my lips i can't fucking handle this and he said to me try to forget... i understand that you're upset but regret is a wasted emotion nothing changes, i see the future you walk on me as i beg you not to go just thought you should know. 020530 ... leavemenowornot so telling me now makes it better? now i regret the future now and then regret again after i walk on you? regret 2 times. i am a real creep i guess. leave me now so to minimize my damage to you. i dont wanna hurt you anymore. :( 020530 ... ClairE I_love_you. 020530 ... pritheemydear "dont you think i know that i have made a mistake?" and ofcourse i knew but it was too late 020612 ... ezdoesit rarely is anything too late 2 late with me. just tell me u need more time. that ez. 020612 ... unhinged 'you know we tried to do this before and who was the one that said no?' 021107 ... failing to make sense of it *looked up* "above me what?" "No, I... I said I LOVE YOU." "Oh. Did a bird just poop in my hair?" 021107 ... Rhin "please pass the marsupial wine" 021108 ... Syrope him: Why would I pay to see it, I'll just wait until you buy it. me: I feel used! (joking) him: well, you are. (in all seriousness) bastard 021109 what's it to you? who go blather from