cheer-up-emo-kid its happening again.
he is trying to get help. or help himself. or something.
this is the fourth time that he's said he has wanted to get his life straight.
he called me last night crying. he said he wants to go to N.A. meetings and stuff. but he says its for real this time. what makes it different this time than any other time?
I dont get it.
and I told him about how it made me so incredibly sad that night when it was the first time I had seen him in over a month and he left me to go get high. he said that he didnt know that it bothered me.
I guess Im just selfish. I want everyone to be able to be truely happy. happy without the aid of drugs. I mean, I know its stupid because I smoke weed. or used to at least. but Im capable of having fun without it. and when Im around him I dont even need to think of getting stoned because just being near him makes me happier than anything else in the world can.
and I cant do that for him.
and he is going to be in the ninth grade for the fourth time this year. and Im in the tenth.
theres nothing I can do to help him get his life together. Ive been there for him the three other times he tried. and that didnt do anything. I just cant let him do this anymore. he is ruining his life. I want him to be ok but I know he doesnt have the willpower to help himself. I know he is just going to start up again and lie to me and tell me that he is still sober.
and its going to hurt.
both of us.
god damn.
BIRDMAD i once stood on a street corner and recited Hamlet's soliloquy, with my hat lying at my feet

i made $15 bucks in 45 minutes
cheer-up-emo-kid maybe Im wrong.
Its been a whole day.
cheer-up-emo-kid he stayed sober through all of warped tour.
or at least as far as I know...
whome HOLY SHIT -- I have to try that, Birdmad. 031105
misstree people get scared by street poetry. it's kind of funny to watch, but when you're hungry and desperate and deptressed, it's not so funny anymore. hamlet is a familiar strangeness, though. props for being able to remember it. 031106
danny wonder what happened in the 7 years since with the kid and NA 090704
what's it to you?
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