_ferchrissakes
kingsuperspecial b-boys to the break of dawn
b-girls keep rocking on and on

that's about as intelligent as it's going to get, folks.
010910
...
daking "you're crazy"
"no"
"yeah, you're a crazy pain in the ass"
"no, I'm just tired"
"fuck that, you're mental"
"no...not really"
"yeah, whatever"
"so, are you going to eat that roll?"
"fuck you"
010910
...
kingsuperspecial jebus, I'm wasted
my heart is sinking low
when I get my courage up
I'll be turning home

is there a place in heaven
for a broken man to rest?
the tell me of a place on earth
but I ain't found it yet

I don't need no salvation
when I know where I'll be
the gates of hell are burning hot
and waiting there for me
it's been years since I've prayed at all
and I've forgotten how
I've done no wrong but live too long
and lord I need you now

the love you sent to me is gone,
and I can't bear to face the world alone
I feel down, the sun is sinking
and I see how dark my shadow's grown
010910
...
kingsuperspecial :: fog lights don't work; cussing ::

"what's wrong?"

:: looking under car for loose wire for the fog lights; more cussing ::

"did you take your medicine today?"

:: gives girl the 'fuck off' look
attaches loose wire
fog lights work again ::
010910
...
monty hall Let's make a deal:
I'll trade you an all expense paid trip tript The White House for the frontal lobe of your brain...
010910
...
daking fly me to the moon
let me swing among the stars
let known how springtime feels
on jupiter and mars
in other words, hold my hand
in other words, baby, kiss me
fill my heart with song
let me sing forever more
you are all I long for
all I worship and adore
in other words, please be true
in other words, I love you.

:: sobbing miserably ::
010910
...
kingsuperspecialdrinks I feel sorry for people who don't
drink
because when you get up
each morning that's as good
as you're going to feel
for the rest of the day.

too much
010910
...
Teenage Jesus Brazil!
Where hearts were entertaining June
We stood beneath an amber moon
And softly murmered some day soon
I will
Return
To old
Brazil!

no?

Well I bet with a hat like that you get a bowl of soup; but it looks good on you.
010911
...
kingsuperspecial monkey_on_a_silver_spoon

I'd give my write eye for a straight shot at a decent honest woman with a sense of humor and a great ass.

the broken dreams and bottle bottoms
strewn like lost laundry
my socks don't match
and my heart doesn't care.

save_me
010914
...
kingsuperspecial we're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again. 010914
...
Teenage Jesus Henry snatched from the wall the sicle-sharp boar's tusk he used for defacing Reader's Digest. Stamping in frenzy, he bellowed the war cry of the Zulu. 010915
...
kingsuperspecial where's my paste! where's my baby_satan

hold me, Teenage Jesus.
hold me, please.

only

god

can save us now

:: dry humps the sofa ::
010915
...
Teenage Jesus ...but it was too late. A hint of cologne, pornographic discord, and

Nice and Tidy
Tidy and Nice
That's the way that we leave your house

Washing up or
Wiping down
We are the tops
We're Nice and Tidy

That's Nice

Teddy Tidy, bangelady fallderoll mince mince minced across the room "Sir Henry, nice to see you, to SEE you." Henry's glare throttled his hipocracy at birth "Do you know what a palmist once said to me...she said WILL YOU LET GO. Gentlemen, I am a bulldog and you will know my bite is worse!"
010916
...
kingsuperspecial I'm a little tea pot

no, I'm a little tea pot

fuck you, man. I'm a little tea pot.

okay. I'm a land mine.

great. I'm a teapot, though

fine.
010920
...
Teenage Jesus "I could clear a snooker table, full-length mind, from a standing jump before operation."

Suddenly, a hang-glider passed in front of the sun.

"Seems a novel enough way to commit suicide. Pass me my pistol and I'll see if I can't bring the blighter down into the lake."
010921
...
Dafremen Ok so dig, man...I'm gunna wiggle my thorax at her...try to get her attention..here goes..
(wiggle wiggle)
Is she looking do0d?
(wiggle wiggle)
Yea...hey do0d...keep wiggling I think it's working, she just turned an antenna this way.
(wiggle wigggle wiggle wiggle)
Holy sh*t! What if she thinks my legs aren't serrated enough?
(wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle)
Chill do0d be co0l..I think I smell pheremones coming this way.
(wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle)
Oh gawd I think my aedeagus is starting to pop a boner geezus..I better stop wiggling huh?
(wiggle..wig)
Geezus yer such a p*ssy do0d...I'm outta here.

What? What'd I do? Hey don't go...who's gunna cover my boner?! Hey wait!
010921
...
pope john paul XIV we have nothing to fear but fear itself 010921
...
barbiturate teach me how to sodomize myself. 010921
...
Teenage Jesus HEY! That aint no non-sequeter!

I've torn a page from the KSS manual...drinkinn'

You know, if I had all the money I'd spent on drink...I'd spend it on drink.

Where the hell did banned_songs go!?!
010921
...
kingsuperspecial got my drink on.

feels good.

here's to medicine, in all it's many forms.

girls smell good, but I'm ready to not do anything stupid now.

fuck it, I got me and I'm okay.
010922
...
kingsuperspecial yeah yeah, if you feel like tearing,
tear any page you like. not a manual, more like a stack dump.

I wonder why people are my friends, except that the randomness and the danger pour keroscene on everything

hey, you're a beautiful, unique snowflake! no really.

is the non-sequitor subversive? bleach faded denim ?
pineapple chicken ?the_string_between_profound_and_random ?

like windshield wipers,
clearing the drizzle
my train of though
runs on a different track

bigger picture

MUCH BIGGER

eye on your ball
and your hand off my bourbon bottle

where's my hug? where's my hug?

who could possibly get it?

ever notice how quickly
a stack of 20's
will dissapear in a bar?
is it okay
to be in love with my car?

_ferchrissakes

a non - sequitor sanctuary!

step right up!
grin some pseudo-intellectual
spirit god science jibbersh
into my fix
come on by
interject some debate
pay me back for all the gems
of anti-matter
I've dribbled around this magical land.

boo hoo hoo : paste!
boo hoo hoo : baby_satan

hey_paste! baby_satan's_snack_tips

oh, my heart hurts
:: weeping ::

save_me

okay, need another drink

:: puts on 70's porn star sunglasses,
takes off pants, sips martini ::
010922
...
Dafremen For too am I a devotee of the almighty escape
The bars of reality lie bent behind as I look for the get away car and find one at the bottom of a sandwich baggie in a handful of twigs and leaves. (Whatever happened to the little sandwich baggie alligator?!)

BAM baby..zoop zoop zoop zoop in goes...out comes the numb. Ha!

Where else would I be honey? In the bathroom again. Yes, yes I sprayed the Lysol.

KaaaaWake time babeey...

When we last left our hero
He was surround by his best budz
Astounding the f*ck out of the crowds
With his death defying command of Quake2 physics. Wo0 Ho0 I'm a digital GAWD here...(Woah chill out Lawnmower Man, it's a game!)

A game?
F*********ck you...I WILL be assmilated:

The Year 2025...
"It works! We have perfected the technology to allow a human to PHYSICALLY enter cyberspace. We must warn people that it is an irreversible process though."

(Daffy the lab technician)
"Out of my f*cking way Doc...I've got Q2 to play!"

Whew...ok I gotta run to the bathroom...

bye.

)Slam(
010922
...
kingsuperspecial I climbed back up into my chair just to tell you I love you, Drafreman. I'm going back down to the floor for some more laughing. thanks. 010926
...
self righteous bigmouth fuck me, it's Dafremen, you fucking idiot 010928
...
underpants gnome hey, guys! what's phase two again? 010928
...
Teenage Jesus "I smoothed over the grave nice."

"Would you care to wash your hands"

"No thank-ee mum; I already did that up against a tree afore I came in here."
010928
...
Addie ... I would think how words go straight up in a thin line, quick and harmless, and how terribly doing goes along the earth, clinging to it, so that after a while the two line are too far apart for the same person to straddle from one to the other; and that sin and love and fear are just sounds that people who never sinned nor loved nor feared have for what the never had an cannot have until they forget the words. 010930
...
Dafremen "Welp...there it is: the world's stupidest mountain. Scientifically verified and established."

"The world's stupidest mountain?"

"Yup, scientifically verified. And established."

"Let me get this straight. I just dragged my wife and 5 kids across 8 counties for 3 hours following your 'Mystery Place - Ahead a few miles' signs...so that you could show me this stupid mountain?"

"The stupidest...in the world. Scientifica.."

"..lly verified and established. Yea yea..geezus I can't believe this."

"For 5 bucks you can ask it a question...kids under 12 ask for free."

"?!"

"."

"Thelma! Kids! Hey, come here guys, you have GOT to SEE this!! It's the world's STUPIDEST mountain..isn't that GREAT?"
011001
...
kingsuperspecial sinking
thinking

not drinking

waiting
wondering
lost
011008
...
oh no not me bed. 011009
...
kingsuperspecial always roaming, never a place to land

3000 miles vs. infinity?

answers always bring questions.

being happy with an idea by itself
without having a taste of reality
under you fingertips
is a lot like chocolate milk
without
the chocolote.

boo sad facely
011009
...
oh no not me I feel old, but I am quite young. Or so they say. I actually disagree strongly with them. Twenty-one. Um, yes. I hate that number. It's like - why, twenty-one, do you exist? You suck; you should fucking die. 011009
...
kingsuperspecial stop and smell the chocolate milk, buddy. love that moon song.

old blue eyes in my heart forever.
011009
...
toto the dog not the band he's not fuckable
he's a scared little weird guy!
011009
...
oh no not me the summer wind is blowing in from across the way 011010
...
oh no not me!!!!!! OKAY SO I TOTALLY FUCKED THOSE LYRICS UP. FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dies*
011010
...
oh no not me getting it right.. the summer wind came blowing in from across the sea 011010
...
Dafremen I liked it better the first way. It has more of that special something that a lyric needs to become a highway superstar. Don't mash the nouns on your way to the verbs, it pisses the adjectives off and they're VERY protective of their nouns. (I'd like to see who would win in a mud wrestling match; adverbs or adjectives. Adverbs would quickly and forcefully take the match, but adjective's large, muscular body and incredible skillz would propably give adverbs a run for it's money.)

Then there's pronouns. Who wouldn't want to do it with her?
011010
...
oh no not me thank you, daf!!!!!! 011010
...
oh no not me .....you made me feel better. 011010
...
oh no not me (about my mistake) 011010
...
kingsuperspecial requiem echoes subconscious.
reality shards flicker
scattered in a sleepless mind.
obsession with answers
where none can exist.

oblivion widening voids
contact breeds distortion
pain luminescence, joy famine
self image imagined fractured
unreality to which I am tied

pulverize meticulous dreaming
shadows speak reflections
paint by numbers all black
luxury of questioned existence
we appreciate only once lost
011015
...
kingsuperspecial that little freak
is looking for a button

to push.

what did I tell her about that?

anyway, the drama_queen thing will never get to me. I just chuckle, and marvel at the irony.

now, where is that lotion...
011019
...
kingsuperspecial i dressed up as the red robot!

it made me happy. for about 5 , no, about 8 minutes.

I'm never happy.
011028
...
kingsuperspecial wait a sec. I was happy a few minutes ago. too bad I can't drive 120 mph all the time. 011030
...
kingsuperspecial I just read this whole page.
I'm happy right now.
don't look for me anywhere else

don't look for me at all.

is gone
011030
...
Teenage Jesus "Sheesh, now I know why tigers eat their young..."

Seriously man; where the hell are you goin'!?! Stick around, will `ya.

I'm really tired of all the "leaving" that seems to be happening, or almost happening.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I ain't the boss of you (or anybody else.)

Want to hear something funny? I keep thinking of that Great White (or was it White Lion) song "Wait."

Hahaha
011030
...
kingsuperspecial well, I really only mean leaving in the sense that kingsuperspecial as I ( or we ?) know it just isn't working for me right now. I do like this blath, though. I'll be around. just don't tell my therapist, or they will put me back in the mean people place.

keep fighting the good fight, young jedi. the dark side must not prevail.
011031
...
Teenage Jesus OK!

Today is a happy day.
011031
...
Effingham Fish Smiling pleasantly, head titled at just the right angle, hands crossed in front of me, left on top of right. "The Final Countdown" by some band or another playing on the radio. "How can I help you?" AND I MEANT IT.

Man, how he stared.
011031
...
Teenage Jesus ...the way a man eats fish, who knows how to smoke under water... 011031
...
kingsuperspecial in a more popular dimension my therapist has stummbled across blather and figured out who I am. After reading the kingsuperspecial chronicals she has decided to fix me up with her 19 year old daughter
( thirtyfour_C_ferchrissakes !)
who is a motocross racer and plays bass and sings in a punk/metal band.

ahh, that feels much better. pass me another hit of that stuff, would'ya?

BAM baby!
zoop zoop zoop zoop
in goes makebelieve,
out comes the numb.

Ha!

let's ride, baby!
011031
...
kingsuperspecial dead and gone
no more feelings
only wreckage and dust
crumbs

sorry everyone.
sorry mom.
sorry family.
sorry cats.
sorry friends.
bye bye.

wasn't who you thought you knew.
011106
...
Teenage Jesus Hello!?! 011106
...
god fog and wires oooo! cat oon cat. fog and wires oooo! cat oon cat.
potato_chip_festival mail_me_a_bowl_of_cereal
oooo! spap_oop
011107
...
kingsuperspecial 2+9=11
martinis
negotations,
and lost hope.

fuck you, I'm okay.
really, why bother to ask?
because you will
NEVER
get through.
never.
end of conversation.

stupid sad dumbfucks, how does
the hook line and sinker taste?
shyte.
As hard as I tried, I still
under estimated what a bunch
of sorry ass bitches you are.

You can line up to take your best shot.
Please. I beg you.
You couldn't possibly register against
the damage I have already done
to myself.

defend, ignore, or grab the spot light?
only you can decide,
and if you arel ying to your self
does it really matter who reads what?

no matter what you say.
no matter how hard you try.
you have no idea what the fuck
you are talking about.
don't waste my time
by flattering yourself -
you really don't fucking
matter at all.
really. you don't
not one bit.
get used to it.
loser.

instead, give something away.
look inside the lie you treasure most,
and stab it in the heart.
maybe you can actually grow,
instead of just jerk off
and burp up the same sorry bullshit because fankly,
we have seen it all before.

take a number, baby
011111
...
Teenage Jesus Hello! (Is this thing on...)

Whadda `ya think we sell in here `ya jack-ass?!? Can't you see these!

Request Denied.
011112
...
Dafremen "I look beyond myself and see this pain. It's funny because noone ever sees it, or they think they see it, but that's really just their version of the agony.

I see them, so afraid and lonely, reaching out, the only way that they know how. They seize control, make their wants known, then nestle into the comfortable routine of take and give until they blissfully pass away. The frazzled ends of reality always a nail's length away.

They don't see the more beyond...they can't see to the outsideness inside themselves, the comfort of the river, the greater whole that is glorified by their individuality. I guess they just don't see the forest for their own bushy selves. Yep, I'm a sorry @$$ bitch...that's for sure...and SEIZE that f*cking spotlight I will because I've got a show to tell."

"You said THAT to THE KING?!!!"

"Yup."

"Suuuure you did. Right in his face you said all of that?"

"Well, not exactly all of that...but boy if he were hear right now...lemme tell you!"
011112
...
blather_spellchecker "Well, not exactly all of that...but boy if he were here right now...lemme tell you!" 011112
...
nah....! im sick of my clock
being four minutes fast
011113
...
kingsuperspecial don't take this the wrong way, but if there is one think I have learned in life it is tha I am truly thankful I do not suffer from OCD.

now, get these fucking chickens
off of my front porch
before I pitch an aneurism.
011115
...
Dafremen Yeeees?

Mr. Fimmerman...Frank Fimmerman please.

Yeeees?

Frank? Frank Fimmerman is that you, you old dog?

Yeeees?

Damn old timer! How have you been, man? Ever make it to the big time like you said you would?

Yeeees?

Good for you man. I'm still scratching out a living here in Boggsville. Damn peat moss cutter fer life I guess Franky baby. Aren't you glad you got out of this nowhere town and this dead job?

Yeeees?

Damn it's good to hear your voice Franky, real good. Think you'll be able to make it out this way sometime man?

Yeeees?

That'd be great Franky! Hey maybe this weekend?

Yeeees?

Wow! Are you serious man?

Yeeees?

Damn Frank, cool man, I'm gunna run down and tell the boys. You gunna stay at yer Ma's house?

Yeeees?

Alright then Franky baby, we'll be seeing you Saturday then man.

Yeeees?

Bye...

)Click(

Yeeees?
011115
...
kingsuperspecial mine eye found stupid once
again always inside waiting felt
twist time cruel leering hot
better attention nothing grasping alone

get off the wainscotting
you stupid cat
011118
...
kingsuperspecial tiny robots in my room.
they always leave me alone

allone, the only think
you can releye on.

death. hurry. please.

word please.

I saw them meteors. just more junk.
and I said "oh preddy"
and I didn't get arrested on the way home

whew
011118
...
kingsuperspecial not the bourbon.
I know you're in a hurry.
I know you always forget to take your pill, and you're happy to remember.
I know the bourbon has only been there for a few hours, since about 4 am when you finally dozed off.
I know you'll have coffee first thing at the office, and nobody will smell your breath.
but please, please please.

not the bourbon.
011118
...
kingbluelightspecial he wasn't afraid to jump in that moat
heck no
he was all nekkid,
and rarin' to go!
011130
...
ClairE --it's sixty-three degrees at two in the morning on December 1. And I live in New York! 011130
...
carne de metal I'd love to go to new york. 020304
...
Dafremen Six things Id love to see in December are:

daxle in the hudson river wearing a parka, a snowsuit and large rubber boots.

My chevy balanced on its front end with me "holding it up" for a "fishing trip" photo.

Two people stuck in a kiss because their lips froze together.

Snot-cicle racing on my front lawn.

The look on some kids face moments after he tosses a brick of black cat firecrackers into a cave, they go off, and he realizes hes just pissed off a bunch of Grizzlies.

You kss...where the hell are you man? I miss the show, damn is this book boring anymore.

P.S. No that does NOT mean Im leaving anytime soon. Fat chance.
020612
...
kingsuperspecial Hello? Hello?

Think this things is broke.

[click click click]

HELLO?

friggin batteries or something?

ahh fuck it.
020707
...
oh no not me fuck it indeed. 020707
...
kingsuperspecial likes:
watches
soy milk
running
cats
making web pages
motorcycles
animation
vaccuming
visiting brother
smart girls


dislikes:
junk mail
waiting in line
herbal tea
landlords
slow internet connections
perl
opening weekend of movies
yard work
poo foot
crazy girls

_anyone can be me if they want to
020815
...
peeholeswab write here
right now
021010
...
kss you punkasses 021031
...
munko you just don't get it, do you? 030526
...
x i can't believe we're back here again 040328
...
Doar zany 040730
...
dreamer who is this chris we speak of? what does his sake have to do with anything 050309
...
xngine the exact same thing happened to me once 160423
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from