10'may'2000 jennifer strange how the moment you think you might have things figured out, maybe not entirely, but somewhat, the moment you think everything might actually be okay, without warning your floor just drops out from underneath you, and you are left hanging, clinging to whatever is in your reach, wondering how to pull yourself back up, who will come along to save you. and of course you realize, there is no one who can hold your hand and pull you back to shore, no one who can fix everything for you and make it all okay, that you have to do it yourself. only you. of course i know all of these things, but it doesn't stop me from standing here, motionless, looking around as if i'm lost on some unfamiliar street in the city, my ride having left long ago without me. looking around, frantic, but unable to move. girl stand still. and i keep looking for you hiding in the shadows, looking and aching and needing and wanting. wanting you to suddenly appear and help me up again, help me find my way to the other side of the street. because my feet seem glued to the pavement. like one of those dreams where you are trying desperately to run and everything moves in slow motion, your legs only ache, unable to move, and whatever or whomever is chasing after you just keeps closing in. i'm reaching for you but it is never close to being enough. i lie in bed and my thoughts cry out to you, trying to find you somewhere in the night, trying to float away from me to you. can't you hear me? don't you see me? i'm riding this wave that seems like it will never stop. and i don't want it to. i want to fly across the sky to you, so when you find yourself sitting in your garden with the rain soaking through your skin, i will fall down with it, fall down and into you. today was a day of reality checks. yet again. today was a day of anger and sadness and losing true. today was a day of hope and some achingly happy tears. some things just don't need to be said. i think you already know. ~~undone 000514 ... . . 010524 ... . 4 yrs. ago 050509 what's it to you? who go blather from